Thursday, September 29, 2011


I did an email interview with Madeline Ava and asked relevant questions!

SMCM LOL BLOG:  What is your favorite color?

Madeline Ava:  Yellow, maybe. Sometimes brown. I really like blue lately. I don't know.

SMCM LOL BLOG:  What is your favorite 40?
Madeline Ava:  Definitely 1940. So many great things happening in that year.

SMCM LOL BLOG:  Ah that is tricky how you took my question about 40s and turned it into a year question!  Do you like frisbees?
Madeline Ava:  I don't think so. One time somebody threw a frisbee near friend's face and I thought it was a seagull and freaked out. Ultimate Frisbee can be annoying.

SMCM LOL BLOG:  !!!  Depressing.  Not digging these anti frisbee vibes.  Are beards rad?
Madeline Ava:  I'm not "into" beards. I think a lot of people are really "into" beards. I'm not. But if you don't wanna shave your face and you don't care what people think, I think that's rad. I don't know. I guess it doesn't matter to me. 

SMCM LOL BLOG:  I will take that as "beards are rad."  Thank you for the interview!

Madeline Ava:  ...

Well there you have it, a relevant/boring interview about important things regarding musicians!

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

CoffeeHouse: Madeline Ava

Tomorrow at CoffeeHouse the performer will be Madeline Ava.  Madeline Ava is a folk punk ukelele player from Bloomington Indiana.  She is the epitome of 'twee'.

 Here is a photo of Madeline Ava playing guitar while laying down.

Here is a photo of Maddy playing the ukelele on her knees.   Evolution via getting up.

Finally here is a photo of the pokemon known as Maddybro standing up while playing ukelele, in her final evolution.

She seems real chill and should be a fun and nice guest tomorrow!  Also she has played with Beach House before which is cool via I love that band.  Check her out (both via her playing music and also she is attractive) at the Campus Center tomorrow at 8:30 PM (via milsted changed the time of coffeehouse this year).

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

PANIC: Giant Hulk Monster Terrorizing Campus Trash Cans

Yall may remember the giant Hulk Monster that was terrorizing campus a few weeks ago via destroying trees.  It would appear that this creature is terrorizing campus once again, and this time it is targeting TRASH RECEPTACLES.

Who could possibly knock over a trashcan other than some sort of super strong Hulk monster, possibly one created by the Biology Department.  Is this another diabolical creation by Bob Paul???  Did Dr. Urgo his it with his moped via hitting stuff?

An anonymous tipster said that it may have been the result of 'parkour' which I can only imagine is some sort of sinister Hulk monster activity. 

SMCM LOL BLOG will continue reporting on these disturbing disturbances on campus until the Hulk Monster is caught.  Hopefully the newly commissioned Public Safety officers and Dave Zylakbro are on the case to capture this monster (which was probably created by Bob Paul or the philosophy department).

Monday, September 26, 2011

PANIC: Giant Snake on Campus?

Was on facebook and a photo of a GIANT SNAKE popped up on my minifeed thing.

Not sure if this is an actual snake or some sort of strange hoax or an actual snake.  But this snake is gigantic as definitely a reason to PANIC. 

Looks like it might be in the tree near the Admissions building. 

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Spotted: the three man river band van

Can we have a moment of silence for keystone costing fifteen dollars again? Sigh.

Friday, September 23, 2011

Lecture: Imagining Slaves as Loyal Confederates

Myself and some history bros (Stephen and Sarah!) attended the lecture at St. Mary's Hall given by Dr. Peter Carmichael (dude is director of the Civil War Institute at Gettysburg College, he is somewhat 'knowledgeable' about these things) titled Imagining Slaves as Loyal Confederates:  A Dangerous and Enduring Fantasy.  It was great!

Chuck Holden Introducing the speaker.  They were BFFs in grad school and spent spring break in the Duke archives

The lecture was about a persistent myth that exists in much of the South, and other areas, that there were a lot of slaves that were loyal to the Confederate cause, that these slaves supported the Confederacy even though it was working to keep them enslaved.

Dr. Carmichael argues that the slaves were doing whatever it took to survive, and any 'loyalty' was mostly an attempt to not get lynched.  Additionally, the myth is still perpetuated today because it helps to establish the notion that slaves wanted slavery, that they were better off being slaves, that they 'owe' something to the white slaveholders.  One interesting anecdote was a Confederate officer whose slave 'got lost' while in Maryland.  Obviously the slave ran away, but the officer was not able to really understand why a slave would want to run away and could only mentally justify it to himself that the slave merely got  lost.  It's a really interesting topic that I can't do justice to fully explain, but if you have any questions I can probably answer them.

Dr. Carmichael lecturing #swag

I think in a lot of ways it is just another example of why slavery in the United States is often referred to as a "The Peculiar Institution," because there are so many strange facets of the system of slavery that occurred here compared to slavery in most any other society (the primary difference being that slavery was associated with skin color, which has rarely been the case throughout history).

Anyways, be sure to check out lectures that interest you!  Years from now you probably won't have the opportunity to attend lectures like this, at least not as easily, so take advantage of that while you can.

Thursday, September 22, 2011


Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Urgo Exercises, Just Like Everyone Else

Was on the facingbook earlier today instead of doing homework when I noticed a creepy status update by his stalker

Seems like she is in love with the Prezzy???  Glad to see that Urgo has mastered the elliptical machine in the Michael P. O'Brien Athletics and Recreation Center, as it is something that has always confused me.  I've tried and continually felt like I was going to fall off, so I went back to the stationary bikes. 

Diggin' that he is using a low-impact exercise in order to reduce his risk of injury.

Also enjoying that he watches the Colbert Report via liberal values.

Also enjoying that people make status updates about him when they see him, and then people make blog posts about seeing those people make status updates.

EXCLUSIVE: New Campaign Focusing on Student Identity

The other day I was in the Campus Center tryna get some swipes and I saw this awe-inspiring sight:


I was very confused via I did not think that I was in a Sears Photo Center (via 1990s nostalgia for suburbia).  A young lady who was not at all ugly asked me to pose and said that she remembered me as being "very photogenic" which I think was a compliment or something, and then she took my photo!

After that chillbro Garrett Zopfi asked me to write down how I identify myself, so I wrote down "I am cool".  Not sure if I did that correctly or w/e but he seemed satisfied enough that he told me about the project.  They are making posters with photos of SMCM students and how they identify themselves and putting them around campus or something.  Something along those lines, not really interested in getting the actual story via lack of journalistic integrity, rather more interested in making assumptions etc.  Maybe he will see this and give the full story via comments.

Monday, September 19, 2011

PAPARAZZI: Point News Bigwig has Fallen and Cannot Get Up

Prominent The Point News writer/editor/websitecreator/all around good bro David Chase fell the other night and could not get up via that one commercial about grandmas falling and not being able to get up.

Is there room in the TPN budget for Life Alert???

Will he survive this traumatic accident and subsequent paparazzi styled coverage?

PS this is in retaliation for the photo he made of the author of this blog eating a baby.  #rude.

For more personal photos of David Chase be sure to check out

Tommy Seahawk Identity Revealed

Have yall been wondering who the new writer is (despite the tone and style of the writing staying the same)???

Some of yall have probably guessed correctly that the writer never changed.  I was just tryna remove my name/presence from this in order to not let it prevent me from getting a job in the future.  Sorry if I annoyed anyone, it was just a method of protecting myself.  Please help me out by continuing this anonymous trend via comments, I would appreciate it.  Thanks.  Again, sorry if it was off-putting.  And if anyone is interested in contributing, feel free to contact me.  Thanks again yall.

Saturday, September 17, 2011

A tile just FELL from the LQ roof onto the ground. PANIC! Also all the gravel is gone.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

PANIC!: Water Fountains Secured with Bags and Tape

Just read an All Student Email saying that some water fountains and faucets are being secured with plastic bags and tape.  The bro is saying that there is no need for concern, but I think that there is a need to PANIC!

via PANIC!

(thought this would be funnier when it was in my head, sigh)

Campus center patio got new umbrellas yall. Do you think they are relevant via school colors? Or r they lamestream???

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Time Lapse Video of Margaret Brent Hall Moving

Margaret Brent Hall Moving at SMCM from Chris Paige on Vimeo.

Woah what a cool video that I definitely did not find because of some dude who runs a newspaper here, definitely not!

Shoeless in the Great Room

So, as yall may know the Great Room does not allow bros to come in and eat some delicious chicken patties (which will be available on Friday for lunch yall, someone please swipe me in, will make it worth your while *wink* via bloggin about u) without some "shoes".  A lot of dudes around these parts don't like to wear shoes for a variety of reasons such as
  • Masochism
  • Like to get glass in their feetsies
  • Want to look cool
  • Are hippies
  • Barefoot running fad
  • Poor
  • Had sex on campus and threw their only pair in the shoe tree
So anyway, the Great Room as I recall does not allow bros to come in barefoot because it violates Health Code.  I decided to do some INVESTIGATIVE JOURNALISM and to figure out the validity of this claim and found this wee little site called which had the following letter from the MD health department (click the link for the full letter, see excerpt below).

So according to this letter there is no Health Department requirement that people wear shoes when in a food place.  THE PLOT THICKENS.

So I emailed David Sansotta about this, still waiting for a reply though.  Just tryna stir up trouble and not wear shoes in the Great Room yall.   Gonna ride this barefoot train till it crashes

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Zylak Responds

In an unprecedented move current head of Public Safety has responded with more information regarding new changes!  How exciting and futuristic.

 Photo taken outside the Library
Here is a transcript of his response (via copy/paste)
A change in any enforcement authority usually elicits strong discussion so in regard to the conversation about the Special Police Commissions that SMCM is pursuing for our Public Safety officers I would like to share some information.
The Special Police Commissions will convey the authority to SMCM Public Safety Officers to arrest individuals for trespassing or for committing offenses under the Maryland Law while on the property of the college, Church Point and Historic St. Mary’s City since the college has assumed an obligation to maintain and protect these areas. In addition, the Commissions give our officers the authority to direct and control traffic on public highways (Rt. 5) and roads in the immediate vicinity of the college.
For example, a trespass by a non-student that would now be turned over to the St. Mary’s County Sheriff’s Office will be handled by the SMCM Public Safety office instead.
The SMCM student body should not see any significant change in the enforcement of the college policies and it is expected that 99.9% of all violations will still be handled by the campus judicial boards.
Serious Part 1 crimes (robbery, rape, murder) will continue to be handled in accordance with the Memorandum of Understanding between the college and the St. Mary’s County Sheriff’s Office.
This is a positive change for the campus and I invite you to contact me should you have questions or concerns about the Special Police Commissions program.
Dave Zylak
Director, Public Safety
Woah buddy, what a well written response with actual information!  Some key points:
  • Public safety wants to legally control traffic, as they have already for ever (does that mean it was ILLEGAL???  probably not, they probably just had to ask the sheriff for permission each time maybe?).
  • Real police are less likely to come and arrest people as PS will do it instead
  • Not sure what counts as 'trespassing' but if you do it as a student you will go to JBoard instead of jail it seems.
  • That 1% includes stuff like rape, murder, pillaging, and robbery.  Nice to have a further explanation of that.
That's a simple summary I guess?  Nice to have some clarifications and open communication etc.

Thanks Zylakbro.

Monday, September 12, 2011

Food Shopping

Some of yall may be getting to that point in your college careers where you have a kitchen and are realizing that it does not cost over a thousand dollars to eat for a semester (via meal plans).  You may be thinking "Tommy Seahawk, can I really cook myself?  Will you give me cooking advice?"  And the answer to that would be no, don't take cooking advice from a bird that eats live fish and bunny rabbits.  There is a whole internet out there with cooking advice, you dummy.

But I can talk about grocery stores!  You've got some options down here yall.

If yall wanna drive all the way up 235 towards "town" (target etc.) you can check out Giant and a Food Lion.  Both of these are fine choices if you enjoy spending more money on your groceries.  Actually one nice thing about food lion is they sell large bags of shredded cheese, if you are into that.  Like several pounds of shredded cheese at once.

There's also a food lion closer to home in the St. Mary's Square shopping center on great mills road.  And there is a Shoppers around there somewhere.

But the clear choice is McKays.  McKays is godly.  The cheapeast store by far with a large selection.  They even have a tool section and a alcohol section.  One of the few grocery stores in the state that lets you buy alcohol!  It's also the closest store, being on Great Mills Road.  Just take 5 north and make a turn at Sheetz and it will be on the right, after Mike's Bikes.

If you go, be sure to get a rewards card.  Unlike most places, McKays forces you to use your own rewards card.  It has a very 90s vibe to it.

Also if you shop at wal mart, reevaluate your life.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

This was a request by gabe rubenstein, he gave me a dollar

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Public Safety Bros to Become Legit Officers

Some "Newspaper" recently wrote an "article" (I think they are like blog posts???) about the Public Safety bros becoming Gen-Yoo-Ine policemens.  Seems to be a result of Zylak (new head of public safety and former St. Mary's County Sheriff and Bayless talking.  This means PS will have all the powers of real police to detain people etc.

Not sure that this will have a huge effect.  Kinda feel like offenses like underage drinking and drug possession will still have people sent to JBoard rather than jail.  Biggest change would probably be arresting/harsher punishments for Townies who are obnoxious on big nights like Hallowgreens.

Photo blatantly stolen from a newspaper that literally costs thousand of dollars a year to run

SMCM Student Bill Sokolove comments that
"Usually, things like this come out in all-student emails, and I'm wondering why that didn't happen, why we had to find out from an inside story in The Point News. The vagary is sketchy, and so is the policy. We need a dialogue between students and the admin."
Which is a fair point.  Feel like this is going to raise a lot of PANIC and there could have been some actual discussion with students regarding this since it is a fairly important thing and affects a lot of students. 

One positive is that they still won't have guns.  Some of yall may remember a certain potential Student Trustee who liked the idea of arming PS.  Still not really sure why but w/e. 

Just kinda feel like it would be cool if they told us why make this change.  There is obviously a reason, and not explaining that makes people feel like children or something.  Zylak mentions that students should be arrested if they put their hands on a PS officer, do yall agree?  What else is in that 1% of cases that should lead to arrest in Zylak and Bayless's opinion?

Bloggin Photos

Some of yall don't seem to like the bloggin of the photos via mobile devices.  GONNA DO IT ANYWAY VIA I think it's kinda fun.  Okay I admit some of the recent ones were dumb, but most are kinda fun I think.  I dunno.  Real post tonight.

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Watch tv from outside bros


Pony jam

Shroom bloggin 2k11. Gotta forage for breakfast. Feelin like columbusbro or john smithbro. Hope these are not poisonous/psychadelic

Tree bloggin. This tree trunk looks silly

Bloggin all about trees 2k11

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Old man and the sea via morsell 2

11 bux via cooks

Friday, September 2, 2011

That wagon wheel band is playing. Still rad even though they are ~old~.

Thursday, September 1, 2011

PANIC: Monster on Campus Destroying Trees

Yall, there seems to be some sort of monster attacking campus trees.  Check out the photo BELOW


All the trees that got planted in this area of Admissions Field (other than one) are all dead/gone now.  Depressing.  SMCMLOL:  Bringing you news about trees.

Possible suspects:

  • The Hulk
  • Steroids person
  • Truck
  • A Hurricane named Irene
  • Drunk First Years
  • Dean Bayless (this doesn't make sense but I thought maybe it would be funny/SCANDALOUS)
 Was really hoping those trees would survive and look chill.  Too bad they are getting naturally selected to die.