Wednesday, April 25, 2012

ATTN: Looks like the A Capella groups are offering their post concert services to willing buyers. Would u invest in a "Happy Ending" from Interchorus, TNA, or SMCMen? Wat do u think?

Fun Lunch Celebration? Or Horror Ice Cream Frenzy of Hell?

Any event that refers to a presence of fried food as a "deep fried frenzy" is an event that any person would find necessary to be at. Nothing attracts a gr8r00m crowd like a frenzy.

Honorable mention goes out to ice cream novelties. I hope they get the Spiderman or the Spongebob ice cream bars with the candy eyes. Those were always a personal favorite via summertime @ the ~public pool~ except the ice cream man was always way overpriced. Chances are there will be no Spongebob bars but maybe a personal request would work.

Now that I think about it these are some pretty terrifying ice creams. But what do y'all think? Should it be "Mac & Cheese" or "Mac -n- Cheese"? Scary ice cream? Feeding frenzy? Good things? Y/N?

Feminist Case Against Abortion

lol no

Friday, April 20, 2012

ATTN: Blocks Running Low!

It's the end of the semester, so y'all know what that means: balances on your ~*OneCards*~ are running low. You may be saluting/harassing/begging your resident first year or large meal planned friend to swipe you in. You may even be hitting on bros or biddies in exchange for a swipe (via it's nothing personal bb, it's just business). Hopefully y'all will figure out a way to get your nom on without reverting to ramen for the next 2-3 weeks. 

I feel like the best way to run out of your OneCard balance is to have nothin' but 69. It shows that you're wild and fun and experimental and probably go crazy in the great room (via 69) but also that you probably had a good amount of blocks to begin with. Or you just gave up on great room food early in and just lived off of cheese and crackers (meal of choice). Also that you are a ~reflective student~ as, look! No pay for print left! You probably used all of that on research papers and the HOMEWORK you do! How very honors college of you, 69er!

If you find yourself with an empty OneCard then that probably really sucks. The best way to combat this is to trade beer, cigarettes, friendship, small animals, children, or even your grandparents for a swipe or two. It usually works. You will be fed, and isn't that the only thing that counts?

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Joe Urgo on Facebook

Do yall ever get on facebook, usually in the mornings, and take a look at which of your friends are online.  And then you see it.  You see that Joe Urgo, Prezbro, is online.  Waiting to chat.

Wonder if anybody ever 'chats him up'.  Just smiling there (also note his profile picture is from the 2011 graduation, arguably one of the best SMCM graduations in the past year), waiting for u to chat him.

What would you say?  R U 2 Scared to chat the Prezbro?

"I ain't a-scared of no ghosts Urgos" - The Ghostbusters (circa 1980s)

Hate to admit that IDK what I would say.  Feel like I would bother him and his busy schedule of wearin' hats, going 2 meetings, and other Presidential things. 

Wonder what he does on Fbook all day.  Wonder if he is more of a 'farmville' kinda guy, or more into 'Word with friends'.  Do yall think he is a DrawSomethinger???  Wonder if he plays Team Fortress 2 and collects hats (obscure nerd reference, BTW trading Buds for Unusual Hats). 

 Do I spend too much time contemplating this??? [answer:  yes]

In conclusion, here is a short documentary by Deanna Clements and some other bros about Urgo which is fairly entertaining.

I dare yall to chat up Urgo and post results in the comments.  Anyone with good chat convos/screenshots will win a prize (IDK beer probably)

This is what I wear when I'm bloggin btw~

SMCM Meme Blog

I stumbled onto this SMCM Meme Blog/Tumblr  which is actually really funny, if you are into .gifs with explanations. 

Should I steal this sort of format and post SMCM memes?  Kinda feel like this blog has always been focused on 'quality content' via a focus on semi-funny writing/news rather than just photos.  What do yall think...

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

People Sleeping in the Library

People seem to like to sleep in the library a lot.  This is something I never managed to do because I had a bed/room less than five minutes away.  Sleeping in the Library does not seem that enjoyable to me, but I guess some people have managed to figure out a good way to sleep there.

And some people come to the Library prepared!

Monday, April 16, 2012

PANIC: Ron Paul Flyers on Campus

Took a stroll around campus today and saw an interesting sight:  RON PAUL POSTERS.  I don't really like Ron Paul.  I would go as far as saying that I dislike Paul more than Romney, but not as much as I dislike Santorum.  Reagan of course I dislike more than all of them combined.  Anyway here are a few pictures of the photos thanks to Katie Caffey and Shannon V.

Outside the library

Up around the Campus Center

And on Goodpastor

What was kinda troubling is that some students were tearing down the posters at the Campus Center.  Like I said, I greatly dislike Ron Paul (except for his ability to deliver babies, which is cute) but tearing down posters is shitty for a number of reasons:
  • Someone took the time to put up that poster
  • Taking down a poster because you disagree with it is shitty
  • Taking down a poster of a differing political ideology is shitty
  • It's shitty
It's not part of the St. Mary's Way to tear down someone's posters.  Tearing down someone's posters is not engaging in Civil Discourse.  If you want to express your opinion, make a poster about why Ron Paul is horrible (via racism, wants to cut government spending for poor people, is a libertarian, etc.) and put that next to these.  Tearing down someone's poster that you disagree with just makes you look like you can't handle other people's opinions and want to oppress their ideas.  I am sure that Republicans on campus already feel ostracized, and this is just making that worse.

Am I right or am I way off here?

EDIT:  I regret this post via ron paul debates

Saturday, April 14, 2012

There is a Town in New Mexico Called Wagon Wheel

Also there is this webpage that has a conspiracy theory that Wagon Wheel is a spy

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

SGA Debated Ability to Grow Weed at the Campus Farm

Apparently at the SGA meeting last night a Senator brought up the topic of growing 'other things' at the Campus Farm besides food.

Other things may have meant flowers.

But it probably meant weed.

<3 u SGA.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

A Strong Arm Robbery UPDATE

Thanks to some anonymous commentors we have some SWEET RUMOR MONGERING for yall via "investigative journalism".

I received an email to my account (feel free to email me rumors to rumor monger and nudie pix [only if you got swagger tho]) providing some potential answers to this story of the strong arm robbery.

As yall may remember from my short Three Act play from a few days ago (it won a Tony [that is an award for plays.  I know this because I once dated someone who enjoyed that sort of thing and we watched the awards ceremony.  I didn't really know what was going on] Award already!) there was a string of emails sent out by Zylakbro (Director of Public Safety) about a 'strong arm robbery'.  The final email revealed that something fishy had occurred, but didn't really get into specifics obviously.

The email came from "Big Meaty Idiot" (  I am going to assume that this was a throw-away email.  The 666 in the email indicates that the person may or may not be the devil.  Anyway, according to "Big Meaty Idiot" (hereafter referred to as "BMI") there were two individuals who reported the strong arm robbery.  And these two individuals were trying to buy weed (if yall remember from my play, I mentioned that they were definitely not smoking weed in the bathroom, which was a joke because that is what Calvert is known for, but apparently I was not far from the truth???) and I guess they got ripped off and then reported the crime.

These two Honors College students got ripped off trying to buy weed and then contacted Public Safety.

Again these are unsubstantiated rumors, but it definitely sounds possible.  There are some very stupid people in this world.  People who would report a crime wherein their weed money gets stolen.

BMI goes on to explain that more than likely the two 'weed dealers' were caught by the real police, explained what happened (via snitches get stitches), and then the real police told Public Safety, who then contacted JBoard, yadda yadda yadda.

So, IDK if that counts as a false report or not.  This has definitely happened before, but ID even K what happened in those situations.  I am assuming that the police did not help them retrieve the money.

Also, is it common for people to buy weed in a bathroom?  I feel like there are better locations.

Anyway, here is the email below for yall to peruse.

Point News Website Mishap

A week or two ago I tried to go to the website of that terrorist newspaper, The Point News.  I don't get the physical newspaper delivered to my abode so I have to check it on their website (which is almost like a blog).

But when I went their domain had expired!  See the photo below (click it for bigness)

It would appear that without the help of web developed David Chase that the Point News website will have some issues (via he graduated a few months ago) in the future.  As you may have noticed from the godaddy tabs that I have open that I tried to purchase the domain.  Unfortunately I was not able to.  This could have been the final blow that would have killed The Point News.  Sigh.

I have done some "investigative journalism" via asking Dave Chase why this happened, but he did not respond (it was 5AM EST).  He probably did not respond because he was busy working for a terrorist candidate for Congress (congrats on the job bb).

A Daily Grind Employee Live Tweets Her Experience

The other day/morning a Daily Grind employee decided to live tweet her experience working the morning shift of The Daily Grind.  It was kinda interesting/funny, so I have posted it here, but removed the name in case she doesn't want it out there etc. 

I applied to work at The Daily Grind once, but I never actually turned in my application, so IDK if that counts as applying via they never got my application.  Seems like a chill place to work.  I have helped close a few times, via helping friends finish more quickly so that they can come party. 

Did Public Safety Get New Cars Again?

Found this photo on Twitter (follow me @SMCMLOL) awhile back of a PS car that apparently has a new paint job.  But I can't remember if this was actually a new paint job or not.  So IDK.  Actually the photo is real blurry and probably not really worth looking at but whatever I JUST NEEDED TO POST SOME NEW CONTENT.


Monday, April 9, 2012

Natty Boh Hunt

Hope yall had a great Natty Boh Hunt!  Here is a picture of cake that was in the Great Room for Easter, and some interesting looking Boh cans made for the hunt.

Friday, April 6, 2012

Strong Arm Robbery: A Play in Three Acts

SMCMLOL Presents:  A Strong Arm Robbery.  A play in Three Acts.

Act I:  The Report
Student, Public Safety Director Dave Zylak, and Officer Mary are in the Public Safety Trailer.  The day is March 24th, 2012.  It is a warm, the sun is shining and it is one in the afternoon.
Student:  Um excuse me, I'd like to report a robbery.  A strong arm robbery.
Officer Mary:  Oh my goodness!  I'm so sorry to hear that, via I am concerned with the well-being of the students.  What happened?
Student:  Well you see, I was in the Calvert bathroom, definitely not smoking weed
Officer Mary:  Of course not
Student:  and then I got strong arm robbed [Editor's Note:  A strong arm robbery is when force is used to rob someone]!  They took an undisclosed amount of money from me, and I was not injured via their strong arm robbery was more like a weak arm robbery.
Public Safety Director Dave ZylakGroans loudly
Officer Mary:  Could you describe the strong arm robbers?
Student:  One was a white dude, six foot, kinda fat, with a lime green cast and flip-flops.  The other was a Hispanic male with a t shirt that said 'one'.  They ran away in a blue sedan!
Public Safety Director Dave Zylak:  Wait, how did you see them escape?  And if you saw the getaway vehicle why didn't you write down the plate numbers?
Student:  I don't have any answers to those questions!  But the last time someone accused others of a robbery on campus everything turned out fine!  And the accuser was definitely not lying! [Editor's note:  See:]
Public Safety Director Dave Zylak:  (In a soliloquy [via use of words that an English major would use]) Hmm this all sounds very suspicious.  Is this soliloquy possibly a form of foreshadowing???  But nevermind that, I will contact the real police about this matter!

Act II:  The followup
Public Safety Director Dave Zylak is sitting in his E-Z-Boy lounge chair.  Accompanying him is his daughter and a bottle of Whiskey.  It is March 25th, 2012.  It is a cool, thunderous evening.  Foreboding.  Imagine that scene from the film Matilda when Matilda steals the chocolate from the mean lady.  That sort of thunderstorm is going on.  I am not good at writing plays.
Public Safety Director Dave Zylak:  What do you think about all this, daughter?
Daughter:  As a MAT graduate I am super smart, and I believe that something fishy may be going on!  But you should probably contact the police about this matter.
Public Safety Director Dave Zylak:  You are so smart, since you graduated from the MAT program.  I will take you advice!  Pours whiskey and water into a mason jar.  He slowly sips from it throughout Act 2.  He then calls the county sheriff.  Hello, county sheriff?  It's me!  Former county sheriff!  Somebody got robbed in the Calvert bathroom at the college yesterday when they were definitely not smoking weed.  I'll fax you the details, using the fax machine!  Zylak faxes the details, passing the time by playing Angry Birds.  I'm glad you got my fax, county sheriff!  What's that?  You say you have a lead on the crime?!  Excellent, I hope you find the criminals!  Now, if you excuse me I must get back to my whiskey and Angry Birds Space.  Yes, there is a new one out!  It's pretty good, a lot better than Angry Birds Rio.  Hopefully this will result in future trips to the moon, sponsored by Rovio Mobile.  Goodbye!
Zylak resumes playing Angry Birds for the next hour.

Act III:  Goddamit
Everyone on April 5th, 2012.
Everyone:  Are you kidding me?  ANOTHER false reporting?  WHY!  Why do people do this?  Why would you make a False Report?  What kind of stupid shitheads are doing this.  It's not fucking funny, it's the dumbest and worst thing you can do.  See the email below.

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Pub Boy Meme

I stumbled onto this awhile ago.  I don't remember where I found the photo, but someone took a picture of some dude pass out in the pub and turned it into a meme via memegenerator.  What I am saying is that I did not make them.  You can check them out here, some are okay but most are kinda not great.  The fact that someone fell down in the pub and passed out is kinda funny though.

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

New Interim Dean of Students was in a Glee Club

Not sure if this is an improvement.

It's professor Ifill from the Econ department btw.

Beach Party

I was browsing The Facebook when I stumbled across these photos of what looks to have been a rad-ass party.  SAND IN THE HOUSE.  Imagine the clean up!

Bros blocked out to protect their identities.  Really awesome party theme.  Reminds me of a story I have been told approximately 69 times...


The year is 2006.  The place is the Crescents.  C/O 2008 Ian Murphy told me this story many times.  He and some friends made many trips to the PG and Caroline volleyball courts (back then there were sand courts behind the two residence halls) to collect sand and then dump it in their townhouse.  They repeated this until there were a solid 3 inches of sand.  Then they had a party wherein everyone wore bathing suits/went topless.  I have never seen photographic evidence of said party, but it's nice to see later generations attempting the same sort of thing.

Tuesday, April 3, 2012


Some of yall may have HVAC (heating, ventilation, air, condoms) closets in yer residence halls.  The townhouses have small ones that would be good for housing Harry Potter, but in some of the LQ rooms there are big ones.  They are kinda like big attics.  These HVAC closets are perfect for smoking hookah/weed, drinking 'beer' or sleeping in. 


It would appear that some 'hoodlums' in LQ got in trouble for chilling (out, maxing, and relaxing all cool via Fresh Prince of Bel Air [pronounced blair]) in their HVAC closets and as punishment were forced to create these PSAs.

It seems to get to the point and is very informative.  I think that JBoard should make more people do this.  For example, if you got in trouble for peeing outside:

What you should not do outside:
  • pee
  • drink
What you should do in a bathroom:
  • pee
  • shower
IDK, I'm no JBoard person and I never had to go but I think this is a pretty good suggestion.

Monday, April 2, 2012

PANIC: David Groupe is Missing a "Ladder"

According to a recent All Student Email, David Groupe (pronounced, Groupie, I imagine) is missing a ladder.  Read the whole email below (click it to see it bigger):

David begins the message simply stating "Has someone borrowed my ladder."  It's not a question, but a simple statement.  I am not entirely sure if he meant to place a question mark at the end of this sentence, or if he is making some sort of a political statement.  What does the ladder represent?  Are we all just ladders, living on this Earth to support others???

According to the email, the ladder is approximately ten feet tall.  It is unfortunate that David Groupe was not able to provide the exact height of this ladder, because many ladders are 'approximately ten feet tall' so I think it will be difficult to distinguish which ladder is his.  However, he does tell us that the ladder is 'aluminum' and has wheels on the bottom (as opposed to ladders with wheels on the top).

Please, won't someone think of the scene shop?!?!  David needs this ladder back urgently (almost as urgently as Nate's all student email [more on that in a future bloggin post] about hamburger buns) so if you drunkenly stole a ladder of all things, please return it.

Dear Readers...

I need u...

I love u...

I could never live...w/o u...

Introducing the newest SMCMLOLBLOG Writer!

Our newest SMCMLOLBLOG writer is none other than Julia Strauss!
Julia Strauss is an experienced blogger who has all the qualities needed to write for the illustrious SMCMLOLBLOG:
  • Has a computer
  • Is sometimes funny
  • Goes to SMCM
  • Has experience bloggin 4 GOLD/$$$
  • etc. etc. etc.
people I have slept with
 Hopefully Julia Strauss will continue to keep SMCMLOLBLOG a shining beacon of journalistic integrity for the foreseeable future!