Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Farewell to Tom Botzman

Tom Botzman has accepted a position as the 13th (wow unlucky) President of Misericordia College University.

I refuse to believe that is a real college. It was founded by The Sisters of Mercy. This reminds me of a local high school, Mercy High, which had a fun little song associated with it

Mery High
Mercy Low
Mercy Girls
Know how to Blow

Tom Botzman was by far my favorite administrator. He was very intelligent, knew what he was doing, and just felt 'real'. He really marketed himself as 'hey I go to Annapolis and make sure we get money' which is probably true, so hopefully a replacement can do that.

He also showed up to SGA meetings at least once a year/semester to explain complicated things to Honors College students, which was great of him. Very visible.

And most importantly, he is such a cutie~

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Going Through Changes

Word on the street, in my inbox, and at every SGA meeting is that changes are coming to food services. The plan thus far looks something like this:
  • Close the Green Bean, Upper Deck, and Quizno's as they are now
  • Open the Great Room up for extended hours (7:30 am to 8:30 pm)
  • Keep meal times in the Great Room, but offer limited food options in between
  • Move the Green Bean and Upper Deck to the Pub (??)
  • Open the Pub up 7 days a week (possibly for extended hours)
  • Open the Grab and Go up for extended hours
  • Completely upend the current block system
SMCM drafts a new contract every five years and this is apparently that time. What do you guys think of those changes? 
Personally, I'd love to have more options closer to North Campus because I am lazy and walking to Campus Center when the pub and grab and go are both closed is a hard job (feelsorryforme). On the other hand Historic Campus only has one close by this way. But you can hit the great room later, earlier, and anywhere in between. If you're partial to Great Room food, that is…

~Natty Ho~

Hay lunch

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

At the animal collective concert, a class of 09 alumnus recognized me. Never met her, feelin famous #cultofpersonality

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Monday, October 1, 2012

Pretty sure I may work with a SMCM alumnus

Sunday, September 23, 2012

Hallowgreens: When should it be ???

Recently some people have been tryna decide when Hallowgreens should be.  This is a difficult event/party to plan.  Even though ResLife/SMCM dictates when Hallowgreens is, every year people try to establish the date of the event via facebook events. 

People just don't understand that it literally gets decided during the summer by ResLife.  Any RA can confirm this.  When you get your RA duty schedule, it shows when Hallowgreens is.  ResLife, Public Safety, etc. all select this date so that they can plan accordingly to have enough staff on hand to handle the shitshow.

But people still don't understand this.

"DJ" Darren Leu in his prime
ANYWAYS this year, according to what I saw on facebook, someone made the event for October 27th.  This is the date the school chose for the event, and the date that makes the most sense.  Since it's in October.  Some people, like "DJ" Darren Leu believed that that it should be on November 3rd.

From my understanding, the logic was this.  Some 100~ students who compete in Fall Division III (the last division) sports have to play sports on Sunday October 28th.  So, they cannot get blackout drunk at Hallowgreens because it would impede their performance the next day.

1.  Hallowgreens is still legitimately fun and much more memorable completely sober
2.  Having played on a 'club sports' team (SMUT) we played every game hungover.  And we even won a trophy.

The point is, trying to change the date because a small minority cannot 'participate' is dumb.  It is as dumb as Paul Prazinski (I do not know how to spell that Pollack name) in 2010 (maybe 2009???) trying to push back the date of Hallowgreens because he and his 'bio' class would miss it due to a field trip.  Everyone told him that he was being stupid, and the date remained the same.

All in all, this resulted in a bunch of dumbasses (read: kids that are kinda clever and make me laugh a lot) making a new Hallowgreens event.  On December 29th.

This sort of controversy will occur again in another two years.  One of the biggest issues at SMCM is the lack of 'institutional memory'.  It is the issue of 'remembering' what happened in past years.  Past efforts, past initiatives, past downfalls.  It happens at any college, and is incredibly hard to combat.  But it is something that both students and faculty/staff/administrators need to be mindful of.  The issue of the 'real date' of Hallowgreens are just minor example of the larger issue of a lack of institutional memory at St. Mary's.

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Hawktoberfest Weekend

Hawktoberfest/Family Weekend is only a month away!  And I think they have a new logo for the event that combines the two 'events' well~
Very nice logo!  Simple and effective.  What happened to 'HAWKTOBER' though???  That is what it was called in 2009 and 2010...guess they changed it last year???  Hawktoberfest has a kinda 'Oktoberfest' font going on, whereas Family Weekend is more straight laced.  Which makes sense via one event is focused on drinking and watching soccer, whereas the other is focused on family events.

Speaking of which, I wonder what will the 'Hospitality Tent' be like this year???

Can u spot me ???
This is one of the best aspects of Hawktoberfest via it involves hanging out with yer fellow alumni/students/faculty [one year my Dad spent half an hour talking to my academic adviser and I found it kinda uncomfortable but also really funny and great.  One of those "St. Mary's" moments that you hear so much about, via a small school] and drinking a few beers.  In past years I believe the beer was free, and then the next year you had to buy a cup for the beer, and then the year after that you got a single free beer.  But looking at the verbiage for this year's event it would appear that all the beer will just be sold, via it says
 Faculty members will be serving as bartenders!  Food and beverages available for sale.
 Kinda unfortunate but also kinda w/e via I have a job so I don't really care as much.  Also for the registration of the event there is usually a section at the end where you can choose to donate some money BUT THIS WAS MISSING.  Maybe my memory is just incorrect and they never tried to ask for donations during Hawktoberfest registartion (but I kinda doubt that).  Could this be due to the Rich Edgar firing a few months ago, which caused many alumni to say that they would no longer donate?

Maybe the plan is to not push the issue of donations until alumni actually arrive and have had a few beers.  Most people are probably going to forget about the whole Rich Edgar thing by then, and actually being at St. Mary's will remind them of how great/cool/chill/etc. it is.  So IDK just a 'tinfoil hat' theory of mine~

Dude in the C-A-P-S CAPS CAPS CAPS hoodie talked to my 4ever~
Also this lecture by Cohen looks really great.  It combines his love of sports history with his love of politics
  • "The Manly Sport of American Politics: How Our Entertainment Created Our Elections." Ken Cohen, History.  Goodpaster Hall 117
This mini-class will explore the relationship between sports and electoral politics in American History. From calling elections "races" to considering the "dark horse" to "punting" on an issue, Americans have come to talk about politics as if it was a sport. What does this mean, and why does it matter? You'll walk away from this course with a unique perspective on American politics, just in time for the 2012 elections.
So IDK maybe I will see yall at that lecture???  It's before the hospitality tent which is good planning.

Friday, August 24, 2012

Walking to Campus

Stole this photo from the St. Mary's fbook page, via theft.  It comes from the photo archive, the year 1986.  Most of yall reading this probably weren't even alive then. 

I absolutely love that bike shirt.  Rainbow bikes.  I need that shirt.

-Tommy Seahawk

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Great Room Hell

August 23rd is the start of orientation for the class of 2016 which means 500 freshies and their various parental units are currently on campus moving in etc. What this roughly translates to is great room hell via you guys have NO idea what you're doing. As much as we will grow to love you, we maybe hate you the first few times we encounter you in the great room because we are hungry college students and you, yes you, are standing in the way of food. Below please find a list of great room etiquette aka how to not be hated
  • Yes, you do use your student ID to swipe in. Just hand it to them. Say thank you. It's that easy.
  • Yes, you can use it to swipe in parents/sibs/friends/so's or slutever.
  • Don't make the aforementioned people pay for their own food via money. It is so much easier to just swipe them in and you are a freshman with a freshman meal plan. You will never use all of your blocks anyway.
  • Please don't stand at the front of the line and have a big conversation with the whole family. Do that before. Oh my god.
  • Have your ID out and know how many swipes you need
  • If you are waiting for someone either wait outside of the great room area entirely or by the cubbies because if you stand in the middle of the food area I hate you.
  • Boxes exist. You can take food out of the great room with them. They are nice. Ask for one when you swipe in.
  • You can go back as many times as you want. 
  • Big T makes the best crepes 
  • Yeah that means you can get more than one huge chocolately crepe
  • You're welcome
  • Spiced chai is the bomb
  • Just be a big kid and put your dirty dishes where they're supposed to go. If you leave them at the table i hate you AND you're an asshole.
  • ALWAYS go to midnight breakfast
  • At the end of the semester upperclassmen WILL try to mug you for blocks. If you are smart you can receive payment in form of beer which is super nice.
I think that is all you need to know for now. Feel free to add things I forgot in the comments for the education of first years.

-Natty Ho (da intern~)


Wednesday, August 22, 2012

J. Frank Raley Jr. Passes Away

J. passed away recently.  Yall may best know him as the dude whose portrait is hanging in the Great Room (added in...2010???).  Also according to The Bay Net the Great Room is named after him (did u kno this???)

But more importantly without this 'bro' St. Mary's would be a much different place.  He was really instrumental in transforming SMCM into a 4-year institution. 

So thx Raley for helping to establish the St. Mary's we all <3 br="br">

Tuesday, August 21, 2012


According to a source, someone whose townhouse has mold, some FRENCH-CANADIANS came in to inspect the house.

Excuse me?  French-Canadians?  In AMERICA?  Why is St. Mary's outsourcing jobs to French Canadians?

Can we even trust French-Canadians?  Are they French, or are they Canadian?  What is this dual citizenship nonsense.  PICK ONE, AND PICK AMERICA.

Monday, August 20, 2012

PANIC: Episode 3: Return of the Mold

Guess who's back, back again
Mold's back, tell a friend
Guess who's back, guess who's back?
Guess who's back, guess who's back?
Guess who's back, guess who's back?
Guess who's back?

via that Eminem song

Really miss circa 2k10 when 'mold' was a new thing.  Mold reports were 'unconfirmed' and it was really difficult to get anyone to do anything about it.  But these days they announce mold before school has even started!  Email below~

Each fall we thoroughly prepare and inspect the residences for occupancy, including checking for the presence of mold.  It is not uncommon to find isolated incidents of what could be mold given our damp climate.  This year we have found what appears to be possible mold in some of the townhouses.  Housekeeping staff, Facilities staff, and Residence Life staff went through every unit on Friday and Saturday and we have minor occurrences, mostly on bathroom walls and some linen closets, in some units.  A few areas have spots of suspected mold on some of the upholstered furniture and/or carpet.

We do not want to alarm residents.  However, we know that everyone on campus is quite sensitive to mold issues so we want to be open and transparent when we find it.  It is important to note that this situation is unlike what we experienced last year in CD & PG where we encountered systemic mold outbreaks that were pervasive in each building.

We found one townhouse unit (Morsell 3) where conditions require the early arrival student to be temporarily relocated elsewhere on campus while the carpet and all upholstered furniture and mattresses are replaced.  We found five other units that require some level of carpet cleaning and nine units where some upholstered furniture will be cleaned next week, before classes begin. This work will be done following standard EPA guidelines by a professional carpet and upholstery cleaning firm.

Housekeeping staff are completing spot-cleaning in other units in the bathrooms, kitchens, and linen closets following our normal mold-removal protocols.  This work will be completed by Monday evening. These types of issues can recur during the semester.  We ask the residents to report any suspected mold growth to the Residence Life staff or Physical Plant(240-895-4287) as soon as it is seen.

As always, the safety of our students is our highest priority. We are closely monitoring this situation and will keep you apprised as needed.  If you have any questions or concerns, please contact Joanne Goldwater ( or240-895-4207), Derek Thornton (assistant VP of Campus Operations at or 240-895-4287), or Chip Jackson ( or 240-895-4412).

Email is not entirely correct, via some students that were supposed to move into Homer (information based on a trusted source) two three days ago were forced to move elsewhere.  But that wasn't included in the email.  Not a big deal really. 

Actually not a lot to say really.  Mold sucks etc.  Did yall like the title of this post, it was a Star Wars reference.  So that was 'cool'.

Also I have hired an intern for the coming year!  The intern will be putting up flyers and blogging at the intern's leisure. 

-Tommy Seahawk

Thursday, August 16, 2012

Beautiful Shot of the 'Hidden' Grave

Found this on the 'internet' recently.  I don't remember the source, via stealing content~

Really stunning, the reflection of the sunset in the marble (idk some sort of fancy rock at least) of the grave.  An English major could probably write something poetic about this, like, the sunset represents the end of the day, the death of the day, and with each passing day we grow closer to our own eventual ends (the grave)~

Hidden grave is one of my favorite stops on the '7 Wonders Tour' via it's one huge troll.  The first time you go on the tour/hear about it you are wondering 'how are we gonna find a grave that is "hidden"' and then you quickly realize the grave itself just says 'Hidden'.  Beautiful.  Something we should all aspire to, to be a troll even in death.


Welp...time for me to withdraw from ~college~.  Won't be seeing yall this fall...gonna miss u all

Stay golden~

Monday, August 13, 2012

Class of 2016 Facebook Group

Some of yall may remember my 2014 and 2015 attempts at cyberbullying the incoming classes of freshmen First Years.  These posts were 'enjoyed' by many, and caused others to disparage the good name of Tom Seahawk, via it was kinda cyberbullying.

Times have changed.  Now to 'join' the class facebook groups you gotta be 'approved' by people like Tricia Realbuto and Sola,  I ~guess~ they are just tryna do their jobs...but it makes it hard for me to mine, via blogging.  It also kinda sounds like they are restricting freedom of speech...kinda sounds likes TERRORISM to me...

But worry not, dear readers.  Both administrative emails AND facebook postings can be leaked to the outside world for our ~amusement~.  Take a seat, and take a gander at the newest members of our "Honors" college~

Monica I'm pretty sure you are going to need to pick up Shakespeare's original manuscripts for your intro to English Lit class.  This seems like a silly question, is it ultimately just a stealth brag, a way to show off her 'fancy' Kindle?  Wonder if it's a plebian Kindle or a master-race Kindle Fire? [EDITOR'S NOTE:  This was a paid advertisement]

Micaela you certainly don't have to wear shoes, if you enjoy having massive gashes on your feet.  IDK maybe she is a masochist?  Maybe she read 50 Shades of Grey and realized she is into pain?

I like her analysis that swimming with shoes would be "sorta weird in the deeper parts".  Cause, I guess swimming with shoes is pretty natural in the shallow areas.

Well.  I honestly refuse to believe that Isabel here is not trying to troll us.  There is no way this is real.  I really have nothing else to say.  It speaks for itself.  ~so beautiful~ ~so brave~

Danny you are only allowed to bring 40oz containers of malt liquor, not fish tanks [EDITOR'S NOTE:  My favorite 'joke' in this post].  But she is pretty smart and shows her "Honors" college credentials by attempting to bring two separate 20 gallon tanks.  Also I like how there are specific regulations as to the size of the tanks in To the Point.  And that they had an extended discussion about fish tanks.

This one was interesting.  Rather than anyone attempt to answer her question everyone jumped on the "look at me, I'm an ally, I don't hate gay people" bandwagon and bogged down her discussion.  Which I guess is preferable to anti-gay responses.  Can't really articulate my thoughts on this one exactly but it struck me as an annoying/stereotypical response.

That's all for now.  If my analysis of that last one is incorrect/dumb feel free to call me out on it.  luv yall~ <3 br="br">

Saturday, August 11, 2012

Apply to be an Intern!

Would you like a PAID internship here at SMCM LOL BLOG?  Apply today!  Send yer resume (optional) and reasons why you want to be our intern to

  • Must be a SMCM 'student'
  • Must have a GPA of at least 0.69
  • Must know how to blog
  • Must understand the improper usage of 'via'
  • Must be slightly narcissistic
  • Must love dogs (via that movie)
  • Must not be a NARP (optional)

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Still the best use of SGA money

Saturday, August 4, 2012

So. Shuttle service was supposed to go until midnight. Its 11:30 and its not running. Guess I will sleep on it. Should be a fine bed

What the fuck is a "Teddy Turner" waterfront, where was the all student email?

Monday, July 23, 2012

School soon

Little over a month til school yall, what class are u takin'???

Saturday, July 21, 2012

The bookstore should sell these

Thursday, July 19, 2012


Sorry yall about incorrect figures about the incoming freshman First Year.  My 'source' was incorrect which made my 'investigative journalism' incorrect.  The actual number of incoming freshman is a normal number of students. 

So, sorry.  Blame is on my 'source'.  Here are some clues as to her identity:
  • She is a girl
  • She is a student
  • She is a NARP
So that should narrow it down for yall to speculate as to who this HORRIBLE SOURCE was.  Sorry again.  Also sorry for waiting like...several days to edit the post.  I am ~lazy~

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Urgo Responds to Criticism EDITED/UPDATED

Urgo, a week later, sent out the following email about the Admissions changes:
Dear St. Mary’s College Community,

News of changes in Admissions and Financial Aid took many by surprise. I want to outline the reorganization of our admissions and financial aid functions and articulate why these changes will move the College forward in significant ways. The new strategy has necessitated a reorganization of positions, which included the departure of colleagues who have contributed a great deal to the College over the years. We will miss Rich Edgar and Lisa Crowe. I want to thank them for their hard work over many years in the service of St. Mary's, and wish them the best in their future endeavors.

For years, St. Mary’s College separated its admissions from its financial aid processes. In Admissions, we admitted students regardless of their financial profile and awarded merit aid to the highest achievers. Then, in Financial Aid, we distributed our limited budget for need-based aid equitably among accepted students who qualified, and capped the amount any single student would be awarded. These policies resulted in many students being left with a large gap between what they were awarded and what they could afford, and we lost many students whom we believed would benefit from  a St. Mary’s College education. 

We need to do better—and we will. 

In order to offer prospective students the opportunity to benefit from the St. Mary’s experience, we will integrate admissions and financial aid and, for this reason, the reorganization of these two divisions at the College is critical.

Under the guidance of our legislative charge to be “affordable to all and thriving on diversity,” we will admit students and strive to make their attendance at St. Mary’s College financially possible. Wherever we are able, it is our plan to offer larger grants and smaller loans to students with financial need. We are in the planning stages of a campaign to raise private funds to help us move toward the goal of placing St. Mary’s College within financial reach of any student whom we admit.

We will also continue to award merit scholarships in strategic ways. In 2012-13, students will be required to apply for merit aid, and scholarship applicants will also be asked to submit the FAFSA to determine if they might qualify for federal and state funds.

In order to achieve the best possible mix of students in our community, it is imperative that we select our classes from a broad and deep applicant pool. To date, our entering classes have been consistently strong. We must secure that strength going forward in an increasingly competitive environment.

We are casting a wider net for qualified applicants, revising recruitment materials, and stepping up fall recruitment travel schedules. We have streamlined the admissions process by becoming exclusive users of The Common Application. We’ve altered application deadlines, aligning them with other colleges in and out of state. Our applicant pool will be evaluated by committee to assure we continue to build the kinds of talented, quirky, independent-minded classes for which St. Mary’s has always been known, but which we risked losing without significant realignment of the Admissions and Financial Aid offices.

We’re not changing our end-goal, but our strategy is evolving. My commitment to you is to work to preserve what we hold most dear, and what we know as the essential spirit of St. Mary’s College. As always, I am available to discuss the reorganization or any other issues of concern.
This was a long email!  Let us ~analyze~ it.

Urgo states that "the news of changes in Admissions took many by surprise," which if we are to believe various rumors and comments on this 'student' blog would include Rich and Lisa themselves.  According to comments Rich had "and hour to clear out his desk" and "Lisa had no time to say goodbye to coworkers."  IDK how truthful these comments are, but that would be kinda 'shitty' if they are true.

So, according to Urgo this is all the result of decreasing number of applicants.  According to some INVESTIGATIVE JOURNALISM the 2016 class is comprised of LESS THAN 250 STUDENTS (usually it's like 400~)Which is an absurdly low number.  Obviously something had to be done.  Urgo's first plan was to make St. Mary's less unique via jettisoning the old application and using the increasingly popular 'Common App'.  The Washington Post writeup covers this and explains it a bit (along with the whole situation, and links to but failed to reference this ever important 'student' blog) that basically you fill out on application and you can send that to lots of expensive fancy schools.  So, the idea was that by making St. Mary's, a college that is often described by many as being 'unique', less unique via a simpler application process more students would apply.  But clearly that didn't work since the incoming freshman class is UNDER 250 STUDENTS (btw this figure comes from a really reliable source). 

I would like to pause here because it seems like no one has even commented on the fact that perhaps applications are down BECAUSE TUITION HAS BEEN RAISED FOR FIVE OF THE PAST SIX YEARS.  And that tuition had doubled over the past decade.  Tuition has literally doubled over the past decade.


Moving on, the 'mainstream' Common App clearly failed, so Urgo's next plan is to restructure how Financial Aid is distributed.  In the past St. Mary's used 'blind-based-need admissions,' meaning that you get admitted regardless of how much financial aid you need.  Which makes sense.  Actually I think I used the wrong term just now, but you should read the WaPo article for a fuller explanation.  Urgo wanted to change this system to 'need-sensitive' meaning that admission of a student will depend on the family's ability to pay for college.  I don't really understand this.  Are people's families actually able to pay for college, like...100k over the course of four years?  I thought everyone just took out loans that will stick with them for the rest of their life.  IDK.  Anyway, the idea is to admit people whose families can pay for college (is this a real thing?) and then to only admit some people whose families cannot pay for college.  By admitting fewer people 'whose families can't pay for college' they will be able to support those people better financially.

Okay, so the above got a little difficult to understand by the end because I forgot how to write coherently.  But the basic idea is, increase the amount of financial aid PER STUDENT that really needs it, and decrease the amount of financial aid going to other students.  So I THINK this means increasing for financial aid for really poor kids, and reducing financial aid for middle class kids who can't fully pay for college, via college is fucking expensive.  Which sounds okay, via getting more poor kids into college.  Also the total amount of financial aid money that is going towards 'need based' vs. merit is increasing from 25% to 50%, according to comments.

Sorry if none of the above made sense.  Some of my explanations may be way incorrect.  Anyway, it would seem that Rich and Lisa did not agree with this plan, and so they were sacked.  There are also allegations that the new VP Pat Goldsmith just wanted her own people in charge of Admissions and Financial Aid, and that she selected a friend for the job.  Who knows if those ~rumors~ are true though.

Okay so I think most importantly, what does this mean for the future of ~St. Mary's~ ???

I think that some people would agree that over the past few years as tuition rates have increased the number of really affluent students has increased.  I can honestly say that if St. Mary's cost what it does today, when I first applied, I would not have applied.  So, with the new system that gives financial aid for fewer people (but those that do get it will get a lot, which is great via supporting people who cannot afford college) I would imagine the number of 'affluent students' will continue to increase, similar to how nearby private liberal arts colleges (George Washington, Georgetown, American, St. John's, etc.) have lots of 'affluent students'.  Which in a sense is good for the school, via they will probably donate more.  And if the students are affluent/prestigious, then the institution will begin to be seen as 'prestigious.  The new policy seems like a deliberate effort to make permanent the changes that have occurred over the past few years, the increase in 'affluent students,' via pricing the college out of range of many students, those who can't afford the 15k+ tuition without any financial aid.

So IDK, that is my ~tin foil hat~ theory.  What do yall think ???  Any important points/issues I forgot to address?

Friday, July 13, 2012

Parking on Grass

This past February Urgo sent out an email urging us to no longer park on the grass on campus.  I never really noticed anyone parking on grass on campus, so I had not realized it was an issue.  Here is the email in question:
Dear Campus Community,

We all recognize and celebrate the beauty of our campus; it’s among the hallmarks of St. Mary’s College. The establishment of a certified Arboretum is perhaps the most tangible, recent expression of that recognition. And we’ve all worked hard to keep the campus – our academic home – free of trash and marked by points of natural and cultivated beauty. I am especially grateful to the students who participate in the Sunday “Keep St. Mary’s Beautiful” clean-up tours on campus, to the physical plant and groundskeepers who tidy up, remove full trash containers, and maintain the campus, and to each and every one of us who picks up, rather than passes by, a stray piece of litter.

A beautiful campus is conducive to academic contemplation as well as to spiritual renewal. It’s been our goal at St. Mary’s College to move parking off campus and on to perimeter areas. We’ll soon be starting a project to make our one thoroughfare – State Route 5 that bifurcates our campus – a safer area through traffic safety and calming. On campus, I have asked Public Safety to be diligent in enforcing traffic and parking prohibitions. We should not be parking our cars on grassy areas, in front of academic buildings or residence halls where parking is not allowed, and we should not be driving cars on walkways. We don’t like to do so, but violators will be ticketed. When going across campus for meetings or events, let’s take advice from the wellness committee and make it a walking, not a driving (and parking) opportunity.

Please continue to help to maintain the integrity of our grounds. Our campus landscape is a fundamental aspect of our identity; a sense of place is inherent in the way we think of the College.

I appreciate your help in preserving the beauty of our campus.

Joseph R. Urgo
A pretty reasonable request.  Even though parking on campus is not always easy, there is generally enough room for everyone.  The only major downside to this is that (apparently) Admissions was no longer allowed to let perspective students park on the Admissions field/SMUT field (via people play ultimate there).  This is a huge issue because tons of cars come on those Saturdays for open houses and they need somewhere to ~park~.  So that obviously upset Admissions people (notice a ~trend~?).

But then during a recent River Concert Series performance people were allowed to park on that field, on the grass.

So what is the deal~.  Are people allowed to park on the grass or not ???

File this under: incredibly minor things that normally wouldn't bother anyone, but will probably piss people off via general mood of anger towards SMCM.

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Great posts from the past

Seeing a lot of ~new visitors~ via the Rich Edgar posts etc.  Let me explain what this 'blog' is.  This is a 'student' blog about St. Mary's.  Posts are usually 'kinda funny' or informative.  The blog initially got popular via liveblogging SGA meetings.  Anyway, here are some posts from the past that were popular and that you may find 'entertaining':
Those are some of the most popular according to page views.  Here are some personal favorites:
And my favorite post of all time, the one that made it all worth it.  Hands in dresses.

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Zylak Sacked

Gonna miss u Zylakbro.  Good times.  You were such a dad figure to me...coming around the night of Gala...taking pictures with us...reminding us not to get 'too crazy'.

Sry that the picture is so blurry via I don't have a $1,500 camera that the SGA bought me, unlike some terrorist news organizations.  But there he is...chillin with his bullhorn...posing for photos....gonna miss u dude.

As yall may remember, Zylak took over after the first new Director of Public Safety was revealed to not have the credentials he said he had.  He was a glorified mall cop, I believe.  So then the school went with former Sheriff Zylak.

So, earlier today the new Dean Ifill sent out an email regarding the Zylak removal.  Except Ifill seems to be incompetent when it comes to emails.  It was pretty entertaining.  Here is a transcript:
To the St. Mary's Community:

With the departure of David Zylak as Director of Public Safety, the College will immediately institute a search process for a new director. The search committee, drawn from our faculty, students and staff will be announced when it is confirmed.

I am pleased to announce that Melvin A. (Mac) McClintock will supervise the officers and staff of Public Safety on an interim basis. Mac has provided strong leadership as Assistant Director of Human Resources and as Affirmative Action/EEO Officer in the five years he has been at St. Mary's, following a distinguished 20-year career in the military.

With the assistance of the search committee and the participation of the larger campus community, we hope to appoint a new Director as soon as possible.


Bert Ifill
Interim Dean of Students

From: Ifill, Roberto N
Sent: Friday, July 06, 2012 4:10 PM
To: Mercer, Sally; McClintock, Melvin A
Subject: FW: Draft statement on Campus Safety

Hello, folks. I will delete the reference to a specific timetable, and just need info on the number of years Mac has been here (I think it's been five, but I want to make sure). If there are no other changes, I would like to send this out on all campus mail on Monday afternoon. By the way, how did things go today?

From: Ifill, Roberto N
Sent: Friday, July 06, 2012 3:57 PM
To: Botzman, Thomas J; Urgo, Joseph
Subject: RE: Draft statement on Campus Safety
Consider it deleted. Mac can fill me in on his length of tenure at St. Mary's. I presume that, if it's good to go, I send it out on Monday?

From: Botzman, Thomas J
Sent: Friday, July 06, 2012 1:59 PM
To: Ifill, Roberto N
Subject: RE: Draft statement on Campus Safety
I would delete the final bold print. We can hope but probably shouldn’t promise that speed.

From: Ifill, Roberto N
Sent: Friday, July 06, 2012 12:14 PM
To: McClintock, Melvin A; Mercer, Sally
Cc: Urgo, Joseph; Botzman, Thomas J
Subject: Draft statement on Campus Safety

To the St. Mary's Community:

With the departure of David Zylak as Director of Campus Safety, the College will immediately institute a search process for a new director. The search committee, drawn from our faculty, students and staff will be announced when it is confirmed.

I am pleased to announce that Melvin A. (Mac) McClintock will supervise the officers and staff of Campus Safety on an interim basis. Mac has provided strong leadership as Assistant Director of Human Resources and as Affirmative Action/EEO Officer in the (number of) years he has been at St. Mary's, following a distinguished 14-year career in the military.

With the assistance of the search committee and the participation of the larger campus community, we hope to appoint a new Director as soon as possible (by the beginning of the academic year?)

Bert Ifill
Interim Dean of Students
Okay so what happened was that Ifill sent out the email, along with the draft and discussion about the draft.  I don't know how someone makes this mistake.  And then he sent out the 'EMAIL RECALL' which you see every few months.  I don't think anyone understands the whole 'email recall' thing can't recall an email.  I think it's an 'old people thing'.

Anyway, it doesn't really explain how/why Zylak left, if he was fired/sacked or if he left of his own accord.  He was a pretty chill dude.  Either way we now have yet another Directory of Public Safety!  That makes 4 in 2 years (I think) and soon to be 5 when they find the actual next director.

Also of interest is the July 6 (Friday) email where Ifill asks "By the way, how did things go today?" which I can only assume is referring to the whole sacking of Rich Edgar and Lisa Crowe.  It was sent less than an hour after the email announcing the departure of Rich.  INTERESTING.  Not much else to say about that.

So, another situation where we don't know the whole story, and thus can only speculate.  Here is my theory:

Actually I couldn't think of anything funny.  I'm guessing he left of his own accord.  Maybe he got bored with it, or it wasn't what he was looking for.  I feel like Sheriff and director of Public Safety are two very different jobs.  One deals more with 'law enforcement' and the other with 'college policy enforcement'.  The two have some overlaps, but in one realm having some weed can result in jail, and in the other it results in a slap on the wrist.

Anyway, good luck Zylakbro...gonna miss u and yer cool name.

Monday, July 9, 2012


btw yall can always contact me at with leaks, stories, etc.  Especially fun stories about SMCM that are lighthearted. 

Also this is the same email I use for Craigslist casual encounters, so...

Rich Edgar Follow Up, feat. PANIC

The recent post about Changes at Admissions (from a few days ago) resulted in a huge outpour of support for Rich Edgar, to the extent that a petition was created, asking that Rich be reinstated, which already has over 500 signatures.

Additionally, it seems that the removal of Rich and Lisa has sparked a PANIC among staff members, that they could be next.  This is evident from many staff members supporting the aforementioned petition, but not signing it to avoid being publicly associated.  And the following is a leaked (via Investigative Journalism ) email which shows that the fear has even inhibited some staff members from initiating a going away party.

Faculty are generally safe from being fired, but staff are not.

That being the case, it would be helpful if one or two tenured faculty would sponsor a party for Rich and Lisa, determine a location, and then ask all of us  (staff included) to   bring little bits of this and that. I think so many of us would like to “be there” for Richard Lisa.
Are staff members overreacting, via this PANIC?  PANIC regarding whether or not hosting a party for Rich and Lisa could get them sacked as well?  Hard to say, but I don't blame them.  It seems pretty clear that this was done during the summer, weeks after Alumni Weekend so that students and alumni alike would have a diminished reaction towards the news.  The email above resulted in the following response

It's very sad that we have to fear being fired for attempting to honor respected and beloved colleagues, who have worked here for decades and deserve our support.  I suggest that one of the first things we take up in the fall is to rededicate ourselves to the "spirit of community" that is proclaimed in our mission statement.  A humane workplace is essential for all of us -- staff and faculty alike.
A response that is hard to argue with.  And granted, we don't know the whole situation inre: why Rich and Lisa were sacked, but any workplace where people are removed so easily is only going to create tension and PANIC among the employees.

Wonder what is gonna happen.  Lots of alumni in the comments on this blog and on the petition saying that they are gonna 'vote with their wallets'.

Also the bay net picked up the story...I think primarily using what I had already written.  And they referred to this as 'a student blog' LOLZ.

Sunday, July 8, 2012

Check Out the Latest Cook's Sign

Newest Cook's sign is in reference to popular Sir Mixalot (not sure if he is a legit knight or not...) Kelis song Milkshake.  I found this very entertaining.  Source of image:  Lauren T on The Twitter (the source of 40% of the content these days...).  This image is a few weeks old now actually.

Saturday, July 7, 2012

SMCM Athlete of the Week: Women's Lax Team

SMCM Athlete of the Week goes to the Women's Lacrosse Team for their wonderful Call Me Maybe music video thing.  What a cute way to develop team bonding sans alcohol.  My roommate recently yelled at me for playing this song earlier today.  Feelin like she is shaming me for enjoying 'good' music.  IDK what her deal is...

ANYWAYS Check it out via it's somewhat entertaining and I wish more sports teams did funny things like this. 

Also this reminds me of when the school was accepting applications via YouTube videos (but IDK maybe they still do...still not sure how I feel about that...)

Thursday, July 5, 2012

Changes over at Admissions

Some big changes going on at Admissions!  Here is an email that was sent out recently (actually IDK if it got sent out yet, found it on LinkedIn):

Dear Campus Community: 

Admissions at St. Mary’s College is in the process of launching an ambitious, national recruitment campaign designed to improve the quantity, quality, and diversity of our applicant pool, which has been shrinking in recent years. 

A bold campaign requires positions that are both thoroughly grounded in traditional best practices in admissions and financial aid and that are creative, innovative, and forward-looking. We’ve combined two traditional assistant director positions to create an Associate Director of Admissions and Financial Aid position. We anticipate the creation of one or two additional new positions that will create vital linkages among admissions, financial aid, and other key constituents. 

In the reorganization, two positions - the Director of Admissions and the office administrator - have been eliminated. Rich Edgar served St. Mary’s College of Maryland for 25 years, and Lisa Crowe gave St. Mary’s an astonishing 37 years. We thank them for their many contributions, and wish them well in future endeavors. 


Pat Goldsmith 
Dean of Admissions and Financial Aid

Didn't really know who Rich Edgar was so I used some Investigative Journalism to find out some stuff about him.  His name is 'Rich', which I imagine means that he is an affluent dude.  And his last name is he related to the Baltimore poet?  Maybe he was let go because of this morbid connection?  I found this small photo of the dude:

He is pretty attractive, so I don't think he was let go due to being ugly or anything.  I think I met him once, maybe.  Also he is an ass. coach for soccer.  Other bro that got 'let go' (read: fired?) was Lisa Crowe.  IDK who she is, but she worked here awhile.

So what caused this?  According to the email Admissions is tryna go in a 'new direction'.  Personally I think they should go in One Direction:

Unfunny jokes aside, it seems like they are tryna have a position that combines multiple roles and creates greater 'synergy' between offices.  Which makes sense I guess.

But also this could be another example of 'letting people go due to clashing personalities/visions' via the sacking of Bayless, repositioning of Officer Mary,  and others, which has been going on since Urgo took over.  My guess is a greater emphasis on positioning the school as a 'nice school' and moving away from the image of SMCM being a 'chill hippie school'.  As the institution becomes more expensive it will be vital to make it seem to be 'worth the money', and the easiest way to do that is to make St. Mary's seem like a serious institution.

It's the same thing that has been going on since the 90s.  President Lewis (or at least he was around when it happened) got the school to be an Honor's College, in part to help move away from the notion that St. Mary's was a hippie liberal arts school.  And Maggie did the same thing when she took over, working to rebrand St. Mary's as a fine institution of learning.  And it just continues to the most recent graduation, which banned the distribution of beer to graduates.

So, my guess is that St. Mary's will continue to brand itself more and more as a 'good school'.  And this is just another part of it.

It's no secret that the number of applicants to SMCM has steadily been on the decline.  It's almost as if raising tuition consistently for several years in a row has had a negative effect on how many students apply to and can afford SMCM.

Thursday, June 21, 2012

PANIC: Rabid Skunk Attacks

As yall have probably heard by now (via it has been in the Washington Post and Huffington Posts and probably other 'posts' other than this post that I am making now) a rabid skunk bit a patron at Cheeseburger in Paradise.

I once dated a girl and took her to Cheeseburger in Paradise for Valentine's Day. 

Things that I liked about Cheeseburger in Paradise:
  • They played Cheeseburger in Paradise every hour, on the hour
  • Cheeseburgers
Things that I did not like about Cheeseburger in Paradise:
  • Bus boy was in high school and hitting on my date
In conclusion, they deserved it, and I hope more rabid animals attack their patrons.

Sunday, June 17, 2012

1000 Posts

According to blogger this will be post number 1000.  Holy shit.  Thanks yall for ~reading~ and commenting and providing leaks and doing dumb things that I can write about.  Here's to 1000 more posts~

In commemoration of 1000 posts and several hundred dollars in profit from this blog, I will have a SMCM LOL BLOG party for yall.  As soon as I move out of my parents' basement.  In 2016.

Saturday, June 16, 2012

How are yall doin this summer? Missing 'school'???

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Monday, June 11, 2012

Alumni Weekend Livebloggin

All have jobs!!!

Friday, June 8, 2012

Lol srsly. No alcohol on the waterfront.

Alumni Weekend Swag

Apparently the first 500 alumni to register for alumni weekend will get this awesome coozy for holding soda keystone light.  Looks pretty rad.  Are yall comin down to alumni weekend???  Kinda bummed/confused that they banned camping.  Not really sure about the rationale.  On-campus housing sold out, so it isn't taking money away from that.  So IDK.  Guess I am gonna sleep in my car/on that bridge the The Greens (great place to sleep btw, the frogs/toads lull you to sleepytown).

Sheetz Policy Changes

According to personal experience (a friend and I tried to go and were very confused) and Lauren Taylor, Sheetz now closes between the hours of 1 and 3AM on the weekends.  This has apparently been done to avoid having drunk people mess up the store + steal from it.  Here is an image of the sign they put up.

R U KIDDIN ME SHEETZ?  Sure, sometimes I like to grab a sandwich or six and walk out of the store, but I need u've always been there for me/us. 

I don't know how to survive without you...I wish I could quit you...

miss u bb...

Friday, June 1, 2012


Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Door got a new pinball machine friends and I found this in a dumpster after graduation. "places I've cried on campus" with push pins. There are over a hundred pushpins...

Friday, May 25, 2012

SMCM Student Heading to the Olympics!

Congrats to SMCM student Mimi Roller for qualifying to compete in the Summer 2012 Olympics in the category of 'Laser Class Sailing'.  Awesome!  I think some past SMCM grads have also gone on to sail in the Olympics, which is pretty rad.

Mimi apparently comes from the Virgin Islands (check out the website with her info here).  Specifically she comes from the U.S. Virgin Islands, which is good because otherwise she would have been a prime suspect for the recent attack on the Statehouse Building.  Also apparently it counts as its own nation for the Olympics.  Not sure how I feel about that, but I guess I am okay with it via it led to Mimi going to the Olympics.

ANYWAYS good luck!!!

Thursday, May 24, 2012

The Water Trampoline Needs an Upgrade

I found this image on Reddit.  I think the Special Carryover Fund should be spent entirely on this monolith.

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

PANIC: Historic St. Mary's Under Attack!

It appears that last night someone drove their vehicle into the wall outside the recreated Statehouse.  Photos below were graciously provided (AKA stolen from their facebooks) by two SMCM staff members, Tricia and Sushinsky. 

Who could have done this?  I have a few possible theories:
  • The Hulk (via the Avengers)
  • The British, seeking revenge
  • A drunk driver
  • A drunk British driver (this is the most likely answer IMO)
  • Dr. Urgo on his Vespa (another likely possibility)
According to facebook comments the driver left a license plate.   At the scene of the crime.  The only way they could have been dumber is if they had left their actual license.

I don't even remember what specials the Door has on I'm not sure if people actually go there on Tuesdays, via drunk driving.

Another troubling issue is that this road isn't a real road.  It's a small offshoot of Route 5 that no one really has any reason to drive on, for the most part.  Why were they drunk driving on this road?  Did they start on this road (via someone drinking in the park/waterfront) and then try to go home?

Overall a very bizarre attack on History St. Mary's City.  Not sure why the British are still upset about this.

Monday, May 14, 2012

Ron Paul Posters UPDATE

I did some 'investigative journalism' into my blog post from a month ago about Ron Paul posters on campus.  There were a ton of responses, which was weird, but not surprising considering how much Ron Paul supporters love Ron Paul.  So I checked out my traffic sources via Google Analytics and found that a lot of it came from this post from  The actual post can be found by clicking HURR.  Screencap BELOW:

On the comments for the post I was called a 'woman' and 'dumb/ignorant' which was accurate.  I was pretty pleased with this because I found it entertaining, and it also led to more comments/views on the blog. 

Not sure of the identity of 'thepholiser' but I'm guessing it's a student.  It's really interesting how Paul supporters try really hard to get people to support their cause.  I guess it's cool, IDK.

But then I decided to google 'thepholiser' and came upon a youtube video that was quite interesting...

I think it's safe to say that one of the poster publishers, and the guy who directed traffic/comments to the SMCMLOLBLOG was none other than Gino Hannah.  You can check out more of his music here

This information was later further confirmed several days ago.  Someone drunkenly provided me the names of
  • Gino Hannah
  • Adam Ross
  • Greg Dodson
As the Ron Paul poster placers.   INTERESTING...

In conclusion, lately people have complained about the lack of 'investigative journalism' conducted by this blog.  I hope you are happy with this level of 'investigative journalism' and stop complaining.

Saturday, May 12, 2012

Graduation!!! Congrats proud...

Friday, May 11, 2012

Great work seniors! #lq