Tuesday, April 10, 2012

A Strong Arm Robbery UPDATE

Thanks to some anonymous commentors we have some SWEET RUMOR MONGERING for yall via "investigative journalism".

I received an email to my smcmstudents@gmail.com account (feel free to email me rumors to rumor monger and nudie pix [only if you got swagger tho]) providing some potential answers to this story of the strong arm robbery.

As yall may remember from my short Three Act play from a few days ago (it won a Tony [that is an award for plays.  I know this because I once dated someone who enjoyed that sort of thing and we watched the awards ceremony.  I didn't really know what was going on] Award already!) there was a string of emails sent out by Zylakbro (Director of Public Safety) about a 'strong arm robbery'.  The final email revealed that something fishy had occurred, but didn't really get into specifics obviously.

The email came from "Big Meaty Idiot" (bigmeatyidiot666@gmail.com).  I am going to assume that this was a throw-away email.  The 666 in the email indicates that the person may or may not be the devil.  Anyway, according to "Big Meaty Idiot" (hereafter referred to as "BMI") there were two individuals who reported the strong arm robbery.  And these two individuals were trying to buy weed (if yall remember from my play, I mentioned that they were definitely not smoking weed in the bathroom, which was a joke because that is what Calvert is known for, but apparently I was not far from the truth???) and I guess they got ripped off and then reported the crime.

These two Honors College students got ripped off trying to buy weed and then contacted Public Safety.

Again these are unsubstantiated rumors, but it definitely sounds possible.  There are some very stupid people in this world.  People who would report a crime wherein their weed money gets stolen.

BMI goes on to explain that more than likely the two 'weed dealers' were caught by the real police, explained what happened (via snitches get stitches), and then the real police told Public Safety, who then contacted JBoard, yadda yadda yadda.

So, IDK if that counts as a false report or not.  This has definitely happened before, but ID even K what happened in those situations.  I am assuming that the police did not help them retrieve the money.

Also, is it common for people to buy weed in a bathroom?  I feel like there are better locations.

Anyway, here is the email below for yall to peruse.


23 comments:

  1. I liked the play better

    :D

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  2. No, the guys who reported it were dealing. The "strong-arm robbers" just took the weed and didn't pay, so the students dealing the weed reported it. I guess in hopes of apprehending those rascals who done took their herb.

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    1. Wait. Are you serious, that is even dumber.

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    2. Different AnonymousApril 23, 2012 at 1:44 PM

      Yeah they were former friends of mine. I'm surprised they didn't get caught sooner, they've been conspicuously dealing for a while and smoking in their rooms etc. They reported the strong armed robbery after the guys they were dealing to made off with their weed. Thinking (I guess) that these guys wouldn't report them because they didn't want to get in trouble for buying. Which was stupid and wrong. Then when ps searched their rooms they found their safe full of paraphernalia and weed in little bags labelled with prices and amounts...they weren't very smart. They've been suspended for 3 semesters. So basically kicked out.

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    3. Officer Danny used to sell cocaine in high school. Don't believe me? Ask someone who graduated from Great Mills in the late 90s.

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  3. I second Anonymous 1:42.

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  4. I just like the irony that a "strong arm robber" had a cast on his broken arm...

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  5. Who sends emails at 4:27 am?

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  6. I but my weed right from Urgo

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  7. i was the guy i took their weed not money they are dumbasses

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  8. Hey, there's breaking news on campus (so far unreported)... strong armed robbers came back to Calvert today. They were arrested. This is all I know. Thought you might be interested.

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  9. does anyone know anything about the Saturday incident? I know some alums who were "banned from campus" after an altercation with the police at calvert which involved questioning of several people... this is from a first hand but not necessarily 100% reliable source.

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  10. the real story from an inside source: on Saturday, April 29, two former smc kids entered calvert and attempted to buy pot in the bathroom, and then tried to rob the seller at knifepoint of the money back. fist fight happened. cops showed up but since no one mentioned drugs and they actually did not succeed in getting their money they only banned the robbers from campus

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  11. Just as a note (considering I just saw this), only about 2% of your information, post and comments, is correct. I know exactly what happened, as I was there when the Sherrif's Department turned up. But, I love all these rumors

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    Replies
    1. Luckily this 'student' blog is dedicated to rumor mongering and now news.

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  12. Why call the authorities when you could just make like a real drug dealer and fucking break some legs? Kids at St. Mary's are getting way too soft.

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