Thursday, August 23, 2012

Great Room Hell

August 23rd is the start of orientation for the class of 2016 which means 500 freshies and their various parental units are currently on campus moving in etc. What this roughly translates to is great room hell via you guys have NO idea what you're doing. As much as we will grow to love you, we maybe hate you the first few times we encounter you in the great room because we are hungry college students and you, yes you, are standing in the way of food. Below please find a list of great room etiquette aka how to not be hated
  • Yes, you do use your student ID to swipe in. Just hand it to them. Say thank you. It's that easy.
  • Yes, you can use it to swipe in parents/sibs/friends/so's or slutever.
  • Don't make the aforementioned people pay for their own food via money. It is so much easier to just swipe them in and you are a freshman with a freshman meal plan. You will never use all of your blocks anyway.
  • Please don't stand at the front of the line and have a big conversation with the whole family. Do that before. Oh my god.
  • Have your ID out and know how many swipes you need
  • If you are waiting for someone either wait outside of the great room area entirely or by the cubbies because if you stand in the middle of the food area I hate you.
  • Boxes exist. You can take food out of the great room with them. They are nice. Ask for one when you swipe in.
  • You can go back as many times as you want. 
  • Big T makes the best crepes 
  • Yeah that means you can get more than one huge chocolately crepe
  • You're welcome
  • Spiced chai is the bomb
  • Just be a big kid and put your dirty dishes where they're supposed to go. If you leave them at the table i hate you AND you're an asshole.
  • ALWAYS go to midnight breakfast
  • At the end of the semester upperclassmen WILL try to mug you for blocks. If you are smart you can receive payment in form of beer which is super nice.
I think that is all you need to know for now. Feel free to add things I forgot in the comments for the education of first years.

-Natty Ho (da intern~)


  1. No, weekend dinner is the best meal. DUH

  2. here you go guys, future teacher encouraging underage kids to trade their meal plan for beer

  3. I am a concerned parent and would like to report that on move in day I saw a young lady wearing a white "Free Karl" T-shirt carrying 40 one gallon fishbowls into the PG dorm. I suspect trickery.

    1. Probably using the fishbowls to grow hallucinogenic mushrooms AKA 'shrooms' someone plz notify Goldwater~