In the email they mention two animals that they are going to introduce: Purple Marten, and Bat houses.
I emailed Kevin Mercer about Purple Martens, because I had no idea what they were. According to him they are "a type of bird that eats lot of (pest) bugs that could cause damage to our landscape on campus". He didn't even tell me what they look like! So I decided to google image the bird. Apparently they are purple in the sense that a Raven is purple, that you have to look at like ten of them to see one that is actually purple.
It's kinda cute I guess.
Okay but more importantly, BAT HOUSES. Why do they think this is a good idea? It's common knowledge that Bats are vampires and will turn people into vampires. And Wesley Snipes is out in California, so I don't know how Blade is going to save us from vampires. We already had several zombies infestations on this campus, and I believe that an outbreak of vampirism would decimate the campus.
And it's going to be multiple bat houses, which means multiple rival vampire clans, who will fight each other on campus. This is bad because it will be like having gang fights and terf wars, except that the gangs will be vampires and it will be at night when we are sleeping.
In conclusion, I intend to protest this whole bat house thing. And with the protest rules being revoked, I can do it without filling out paperwork woo!
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