Friday, November 21, 2008

Head Lice

Head lice are invading St. Marys!

Earlier this evening the campus community received an email from Joanne Goldwater stating that there has been an outbreak of...head lice.

Ladies and gentlemen, we need to protect ourselves. Next time you think about hooking up with that dashing young St. Mary's student, think to yourself, could he/she have head lice? You see, head lice are often spread through pillows, and people that are hooking up often share pillows. Head lice are essentially STDs, except that a condom won't protect you.

What you should do it have your partner sit in front of you, and then begin examining their head for lice. If they question you, merely tell them that it is an ancient Chinese form of head massage, used by Confucius. They will believe you, and you can protect yourself from lice. If they do in fact have lice, proceed to shave off all of their hair so that the lice have no wear to live.

Folks, head lice are terrorism, and we need to stop terrorism. When I ran for Prince George Senator, I promised to stop terrorism. And head lice are just another example of terrorism that I will personally destroy.

That said, I am going to the health center tomorrow to get checked for lice. Wish me luck.


  1. oh my goodness.
    i got this email and i was terrified.
    thank you for these helpful tips to avoid head lice!!

  2. I lol'd.
    But seriously, it's a little embarrassing to have an outbreak of head lice. Makes us look like a bunch'a dirty hippies or something.

  3. maggie.danhakl@healthline.comMay 30, 2014 at 6:39 PM


    I hope all is well. I wanted to bring to your attention a resource for lice that I think would be a great addition to you site. Healthline has a lice buyer’s guide that allows you to find the best lice treatment for your family.

    You can see the guide here:

    I am writing to ask if you would include this as a resource on your page:

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    Please consider adding this as a resource to your site as I believe it would be great value to your users.

    I’m happy to answer any additional questions.

    Thanks so much,
    Maggie Danhakl • Assistant Marketing Manager
    p: 415-281-3124 f: 415-281-3199

    Healthline • The Power of Intelligent Health
    660 Third Street, San Francisco, CA 94107 | @Healthline | @HealthlineCorp

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