Three SMCM Students Arrested for Armed Robbery

lmao just like

just what

Last Friday 3 First Year members of the Basketball Team (check the archives for previous coverage) robbed, with guns, their weed dealer in WC. 

This is the MOST CLICHED COLLEGE ROBBERY

0 POINTS FOR ORIGINALITY

I think it's also worth noting that, chances are, these dudes are pretty tall, I mean one of them is 6'9" (nice). That's gonna stand out on a college campus right? IDK. 

Questions to consider:

• They stole 8 oz. of weed, valued at $1,200. Is that a legit figure??? That seems a lil' low for SMCM, but idk maybe the floor bottomed out???
• How will Harney react???
• What do you do now? Like what does the college do? I hope they don't take a reactionary approach to this, in any form. This is a one-off, not indicative of larger issues, right? idk

Here's the article from where I stole all this info 

https://smnewsnet.com/archives/430229/update-three-students-from-st-marys-college-of-maryland-seahawk-mens-basketball-team-arrested-for-armed-robbery-at-college-dorm-room/

PANIC: Someone has Stolen a Pillar!

Now that school is back in session I am back on campus (since I am a "student") so I went around documenting some changes. Look forward to boring/moderately funny posts in the coming days.

Now as you can see, one of the posts near Calvert is missing. Did someone steal it? Did Urgo steal it? Did someone run a car into it, just like a few years ago near the Statehouse?

Victory!

Mere hours after publicly shaming @SMCMconf3ssions on 'twitter' they have changed their logo and 'apologized'.

Wow amazing #progress. What will they call this event in the future, LogoGate? #logotheft???

This was a pretty solid A+++ apology.

Or was it?

It seems like they are sorry about the "confusion." I am not sure what confusion they are talking about... I don't think anyone was confused regarding this issue.

I mean, one time I was driven to Sheetz (don't drive drunk [too much] yall) and the next day I woke up with a sandwich in my pocket and a receipt. But the receipt was for two hot dogs (AKA 'hoddogs' they are 2 for a $1). This was 'confusion theft.' I was tweeted an apology to Sheetz for the confusion as to how transactions work. But I don't think there was confusion in this situation. Also this may have contributed to Sheetz no longer being open at 2AM on weekends. 

Phew finally changed the world is safe again via lack of piracy.

In the end I think this 'gimmick twitter account' now has more followers than yesterday so I guess the moral of the story is...

CRIME PAYS

(I have no idea what that image is but I found it on google let's hope I didn't steal it~)

Logo Theft!

I was updating my 'twitter' account earlier today when I noticed a novelty account called "SMCM (sic) Conf3ssions. It seemed like your average novelty twitter account, until I took a closer look.

Let us zoom in a bit (via CSI: Miami, Las Vegas, New York) and see what is up with this dude

WHAT IS THAT LOGO? IS THAT MY LOGO?

I commissioned the logo a few years ago and someone (idk Sean Allerd???) emailed me a logo and I was pretty pleased. At least I think that is what happened, I don't actually remember the email, I just remember waking up Saturday morning and suddenly my blog had a logo. As Hemingway said, "edit the logo and layout of your blog drunk, be surprised about it sober."

As you can see this gimmick account has not been used very much. And why would anyone want to leave their bed? Here is a short list of great things to do in your bed

• sexual intercourse
• sleep
• eat breakfast
• eat lunch
• make a blanket fort
• sexual intercourse

I confronted the account owner via 'tweeting at them' #confrontation

 And they actually got back to me pretty quickly

 You are correct, gimmick blogger, it is a good one.



Pretty sure this counts as 'plagiarism'. Gonna report him to J-Board and get him expelled for plagiarism.

Student Steals a Case of Monster (a drink i guess???) from the Delivery Man

According to a 'tweet' from @harmanj22 a student stole an entire case of Monster, causing the delivery man to leave a note.

Editor Note: Apparently 'Monster' is an energy drink. It appears to be a non-alcoholic version of 4Loko. Not sure what the point of it is.

PRETTY SHITTY MOVE ON YOUR PART, ANONYMOUS STUDENT.

I like that he signed his name CokeMan.

Also, if you are somehow able to afford St. Mary's but not caffeine, buy some caffeine pills. $5.99 for the equivalent of a hundred energy drinks. http://www.amazon.com/Natrol-Caffeine-200mg-Tablets-100-Count/dp/B000OPV118/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1366907282&sr=8-2&keywords=caffeine

There is no excuse for this.

Why is this door open!?

Look at this door being all open! All the mysterious stuff in that shed is gonna get stolen. Someone should close it.