Zylak Sacked

Gonna miss u Zylakbro.  Good times.  You were such a dad figure to me...coming around the night of Gala...taking pictures with us...reminding us not to get 'too crazy'.

Sry that the picture is so blurry via I don't have a $1,500 camera that the SGA bought me, unlike some terrorist news organizations.  But there he is...chillin with his bullhorn...posing for photos....gonna miss u dude.

As yall may remember, Zylak took over after the first new Director of Public Safety was revealed to not have the credentials he said he had.  He was a glorified mall cop, I believe.  So then the school went with former Sheriff Zylak.

So, earlier today the new Dean Ifill sent out an email regarding the Zylak removal.  Except Ifill seems to be incompetent when it comes to emails.  It was pretty entertaining.  Here is a transcript:

To the St. Mary's Community:

With the departure of David Zylak as Director of Public Safety, the College will immediately institute a search process for a new director. The search committee, drawn from our faculty, students and staff will be announced when it is confirmed.

I am pleased to announce that Melvin A. (Mac) McClintock will supervise the officers and staff of Public Safety on an interim basis. Mac has provided strong leadership as Assistant Director of Human Resources and as Affirmative Action/EEO Officer in the five years he has been at St. Mary's, following a distinguished 20-year career in the military.

With the assistance of the search committee and the participation of the larger campus community, we hope to appoint a new Director as soon as possible.

Sincerely,

Bert Ifill
Interim Dean of Students


From: Ifill, Roberto N
Sent: Friday, July 06, 2012 4:10 PM
To: Mercer, Sally; McClintock, Melvin A
Subject: FW: Draft statement on Campus Safety

Hello, folks. I will delete the reference to a specific timetable, and just need info on the number of years Mac has been here (I think it's been five, but I want to make sure). If there are no other changes, I would like to send this out on all campus mail on Monday afternoon. By the way, how did things go today?

Bert
From: Ifill, Roberto N
Sent: Friday, July 06, 2012 3:57 PM
To: Botzman, Thomas J; Urgo, Joseph
Subject: RE: Draft statement on Campus Safety
Consider it deleted. Mac can fill me in on his length of tenure at St. Mary's. I presume that, if it's good to go, I send it out on Monday?

Bert
From: Botzman, Thomas J
Sent: Friday, July 06, 2012 1:59 PM
To: Ifill, Roberto N
Subject: RE: Draft statement on Campus Safety
I would delete the final bold print. We can hope but probably shouldn’t promise that speed.

From: Ifill, Roberto N
Sent: Friday, July 06, 2012 12:14 PM
To: McClintock, Melvin A; Mercer, Sally
Cc: Urgo, Joseph; Botzman, Thomas J
Subject: Draft statement on Campus Safety

To the St. Mary's Community:

With the departure of David Zylak as Director of Campus Safety, the College will immediately institute a search process for a new director. The search committee, drawn from our faculty, students and staff will be announced when it is confirmed.

I am pleased to announce that Melvin A. (Mac) McClintock will supervise the officers and staff of Campus Safety on an interim basis. Mac has provided strong leadership as Assistant Director of Human Resources and as Affirmative Action/EEO Officer in the (number of) years he has been at St. Mary's, following a distinguished 14-year career in the military.

With the assistance of the search committee and the participation of the larger campus community, we hope to appoint a new Director as soon as possible (by the beginning of the academic year?)

Sincerely,
Bert Ifill
Interim Dean of Students

Okay so what happened was that Ifill sent out the email, along with the draft and discussion about the draft.  I don't know how someone makes this mistake.  And then he sent out the 'EMAIL RECALL' which you see every few months.  I don't think anyone understands the whole 'email recall' thing since...you can't recall an email.  I think it's an 'old people thing'.

Anyway, it doesn't really explain how/why Zylak left, if he was fired/sacked or if he left of his own accord.  He was a pretty chill dude.  Either way we now have yet another Directory of Public Safety!  That makes 4 in 2 years (I think) and soon to be 5 when they find the actual next director.

Also of interest is the July 6 (Friday) email where Ifill asks "By the way, how did things go today?" which I can only assume is referring to the whole sacking of Rich Edgar and Lisa Crowe.  It was sent less than an hour after the email announcing the departure of Rich.  INTERESTING.  Not much else to say about that.

So, another situation where we don't know the whole story, and thus can only speculate.  Here is my theory:

Actually I couldn't think of anything funny.  I'm guessing he left of his own accord.  Maybe he got bored with it, or it wasn't what he was looking for.  I feel like Sheriff and director of Public Safety are two very different jobs.  One deals more with 'law enforcement' and the other with 'college policy enforcement'.  The two have some overlaps, but in one realm having some weed can result in jail, and in the other it results in a slap on the wrist.

Anyway, good luck Zylakbro...gonna miss u and yer cool name.

A Strong Arm Robbery UPDATE

Thanks to some anonymous commentors we have some SWEET RUMOR MONGERING for yall via "investigative journalism".

I received an email to my smcmstudents@gmail.com account (feel free to email me rumors to rumor monger and nudie pix [only if you got swagger tho]) providing some potential answers to this story of the strong arm robbery.

As yall may remember from my short Three Act play from a few days ago (it won a Tony [that is an award for plays.  I know this because I once dated someone who enjoyed that sort of thing and we watched the awards ceremony.  I didn't really know what was going on] Award already!) there was a string of emails sent out by Zylakbro (Director of Public Safety) about a 'strong arm robbery'.  The final email revealed that something fishy had occurred, but didn't really get into specifics obviously.

The email came from "Big Meaty Idiot" (bigmeatyidiot666@gmail.com).  I am going to assume that this was a throw-away email.  The 666 in the email indicates that the person may or may not be the devil.  Anyway, according to "Big Meaty Idiot" (hereafter referred to as "BMI") there were two individuals who reported the strong arm robbery.  And these two individuals were trying to buy weed (if yall remember from my play, I mentioned that they were definitely not smoking weed in the bathroom, which was a joke because that is what Calvert is known for, but apparently I was not far from the truth???) and I guess they got ripped off and then reported the crime.

These two Honors College students got ripped off trying to buy weed and then contacted Public Safety.

Again these are unsubstantiated rumors, but it definitely sounds possible.  There are some very stupid people in this world.  People who would report a crime wherein their weed money gets stolen.

BMI goes on to explain that more than likely the two 'weed dealers' were caught by the real police, explained what happened (via snitches get stitches), and then the real police told Public Safety, who then contacted JBoard, yadda yadda yadda.

So, IDK if that counts as a false report or not.  This has definitely happened before, but ID even K what happened in those situations.  I am assuming that the police did not help them retrieve the money.

Also, is it common for people to buy weed in a bathroom?  I feel like there are better locations.

Anyway, here is the email below for yall to peruse.

Strong Arm Robbery: A Play in Three Acts

SMCMLOL Presents:  A Strong Arm Robbery.  A play in Three Acts.

Act I:  The Report
Student, Public Safety Director Dave Zylak, and Officer Mary are in the Public Safety Trailer.  The day is March 24th, 2012.  It is a warm, the sun is shining and it is one in the afternoon.
Student:  Um excuse me, I'd like to report a robbery.  A strong arm robbery.
Officer Mary:  Oh my goodness!  I'm so sorry to hear that, via I am concerned with the well-being of the students.  What happened?
Student:  Well you see, I was in the Calvert bathroom, definitely not smoking weed
Officer Mary:  Of course not
Student:  and then I got strong arm robbed [Editor's Note:  A strong arm robbery is when force is used to rob someone]!  They took an undisclosed amount of money from me, and I was not injured via their strong arm robbery was more like a weak arm robbery.
Public Safety Director Dave Zylak:  Groans loudly
Officer Mary:  Could you describe the strong arm robbers?
Student:  One was a white dude, six foot, kinda fat, with a lime green cast and flip-flops.  The other was a Hispanic male with a t shirt that said 'one'.  They ran away in a blue sedan!
Public Safety Director Dave Zylak:  Wait, how did you see them escape?  And if you saw the getaway vehicle why didn't you write down the plate numbers?
Student:  I don't have any answers to those questions!  But the last time someone accused others of a robbery on campus everything turned out fine!  And the accuser was definitely not lying! [Editor's note:  See: http://thepointnews.com/2011/12/race-forum]
Public Safety Director Dave Zylak:  (In a soliloquy [via use of words that an English major would use]) Hmm this all sounds very suspicious.  Is this soliloquy possibly a form of foreshadowing???  But nevermind that, I will contact the real police about this matter!

Act II:  The followup
Public Safety Director Dave Zylak is sitting in his E-Z-Boy lounge chair.  Accompanying him is his daughter and a bottle of Whiskey.  It is March 25th, 2012.  It is a cool, thunderous evening.  Foreboding.  Imagine that scene from the film Matilda when Matilda steals the chocolate from the mean lady.  That sort of thunderstorm is going on.  I am not good at writing plays.
Public Safety Director Dave Zylak:  What do you think about all this, daughter?
Daughter:  As a MAT graduate I am super smart, and I believe that something fishy may be going on!  But you should probably contact the police about this matter.
Public Safety Director Dave Zylak:  You are so smart, since you graduated from the MAT program.  I will take you advice!  Pours whiskey and water into a mason jar.  He slowly sips from it throughout Act 2.  He then calls the county sheriff.  Hello, county sheriff?  It's me!  Former county sheriff!  Somebody got robbed in the Calvert bathroom at the college yesterday when they were definitely not smoking weed.  I'll fax you the details, using the fax machine!  Zylak faxes the details, passing the time by playing Angry Birds.  I'm glad you got my fax, county sheriff!  What's that?  You say you have a lead on the crime?!  Excellent, I hope you find the criminals!  Now, if you excuse me I must get back to my whiskey and Angry Birds Space.  Yes, there is a new one out!  It's pretty good, a lot better than Angry Birds Rio.  Hopefully this will result in future trips to the moon, sponsored by Rovio Mobile.  Goodbye!
Zylak resumes playing Angry Birds for the next hour.

Act III:  Goddamit
Everyone on April 5th, 2012.
Everyone:  Are you kidding me?  ANOTHER false reporting?  WHY!  Why do people do this?  Why would you make a False Report?  What kind of stupid shitheads are doing this.  It's not fucking funny, it's the dumbest and worst thing you can do.  See the email below.

PANIC: Students Attacking Faculty Vis-A-Vis Bicycles and Skateboards

St. Mary's City:  News reports are flooding in of students on bicycles and skateboards violently attacking faculty and staff at St. Mary's College of Maryland.  Recently the Director of Public Safety, David Zylak, AKA "Zylak Bro," sent out an email expressing the concerns of several faculty members that they are being targeted by gangs of students dressed with little regard for safety or the well-being of "the olds."  The initial email can be read below (click for big, duh):

As you can see, students need to wear bright clothes in order to not harm faculty members when jogging or biking.  Note the concern of some faculty:

SERIOUS ISSUES YALL.

Safety is a legit issue though.  I bike a lot and even though it's fun to ride through red lights and stop signs if there are other cars around you should seriously stop.  Those are the sorts of things that make drivers hate bikers.

Senseless Acts of Destruction

Zylak bro (vis-a-vis new head of Public Safety) sent out an email about some lame-os vandalizing Prince George (the purest of all resident halls) and some cars in Lot R.  Lame stuff vis-a-vis vandalism is really annoying and makes the campus less pretty and costs money.  Sigh.

Kinda chill that he did not immediately blame students (although vandalism on campus is often caused by students, and I would assume that this was the case here) and was open to the possibility that other people did this.

Not much to say, don't put your energy into breaking stuff, it's lame and really upsetting :/

PANIC: Giant Hulk Monster Terrorizing Campus Trash Cans

Yall may remember the giant Hulk Monster that was terrorizing campus a few weeks ago via destroying trees.  It would appear that this creature is terrorizing campus once again, and this time it is targeting TRASH RECEPTACLES.

Who could possibly knock over a trashcan other than some sort of super strong Hulk monster, possibly one created by the Biology Department.  Is this another diabolical creation by Bob Paul???  Did Dr. Urgo his it with his moped via hitting stuff?

An anonymous tipster said that it may have been the result of 'parkour' which I can only imagine is some sort of sinister Hulk monster activity. 

SMCM LOL BLOG will continue reporting on these disturbing disturbances on campus until the Hulk Monster is caught.  Hopefully the newly commissioned Public Safety officers and Dave Zylakbro are on the case to capture this monster (which was probably created by Bob Paul or the philosophy department).

Zylak Responds

In an unprecedented move current head of Public Safety has responded with more information regarding new changes!  How exciting and futuristic.

 Photo taken outside the Library

Here is a transcript of his response (via copy/paste)

A change in any enforcement authority usually elicits strong discussion so in regard to the conversation about the Special Police Commissions that SMCM is pursuing for our Public Safety officers I would like to share some information.
The Special Police Commissions will convey the authority to SMCM Public Safety Officers to arrest individuals for trespassing or for committing offenses under the Maryland Law while on the property of the college, Church Point and Historic St. Mary’s City since the college has assumed an obligation to maintain and protect these areas. In addition, the Commissions give our officers the authority to direct and control traffic on public highways (Rt. 5) and roads in the immediate vicinity of the college.
For example, a trespass by a non-student that would now be turned over to the St. Mary’s County Sheriff’s Office will be handled by the SMCM Public Safety office instead.
The SMCM student body should not see any significant change in the enforcement of the college policies and it is expected that 99.9% of all violations will still be handled by the campus judicial boards.
Serious Part 1 crimes (robbery, rape, murder) will continue to be handled in accordance with the Memorandum of Understanding between the college and the St. Mary’s County Sheriff’s Office.
This is a positive change for the campus and I invite you to contact me should you have questions or concerns about the Special Police Commissions program.
Dave Zylak
Director, Public Safety
240-895-4911

Woah buddy, what a well written response with actual information!  Some key points:

• Public safety wants to legally control traffic, as they have already for ever (does that mean it was ILLEGAL???  probably not, they probably just had to ask the sheriff for permission each time maybe?).
• Real police are less likely to come and arrest people as PS will do it instead
• Not sure what counts as 'trespassing' but if you do it as a student you will go to JBoard instead of jail it seems.
• That 1% includes stuff like rape, murder, pillaging, and robbery.  Nice to have a further explanation of that.

That's a simple summary I guess?  Nice to have some clarifications and open communication etc.

Thanks Zylakbro.

Public Safety Bros to Become Legit Officers

Some "Newspaper" recently wrote an "article" (I think they are like blog posts???) about the Public Safety bros becoming Gen-Yoo-Ine policemens.  Seems to be a result of Zylak (new head of public safety and former St. Mary's County Sheriff and Bayless talking.  This means PS will have all the powers of real police to detain people etc.

Not sure that this will have a huge effect.  Kinda feel like offenses like underage drinking and drug possession will still have people sent to JBoard rather than jail.  Biggest change would probably be arresting/harsher punishments for Townies who are obnoxious on big nights like Hallowgreens.

Photo blatantly stolen from a newspaper that literally costs thousand of dollars a year to run

SMCM Student Bill Sokolove comments that

"Usually, things like this come out in all-student emails, and I'm wondering why that didn't happen, why we had to find out from an inside story in The Point News. The vagary is sketchy, and so is the policy. We need a dialogue between students and the admin."

Which is a fair point.  Feel like this is going to raise a lot of PANIC and there could have been some actual discussion with students regarding this since it is a fairly important thing and affects a lot of students. 

One positive is that they still won't have guns.  Some of yall may remember a certain potential Student Trustee who liked the idea of arming PS.  Still not really sure why but w/e. 

Just kinda feel like it would be cool if they told us why make this change.  There is obviously a reason, and not explaining that makes people feel like children or something.  Zylak mentions that students should be arrested if they put their hands on a PS officer, do yall agree?  What else is in that 1% of cases that should lead to arrest in Zylak and Bayless's opinion?

Church Point: Closed After Dark?

There has recently been some discussion as to whether or not the Point is off limit after dark, mostly as a result of the Class of 2011 Seven Wonders Tour.  During this year's tour a couch was burned (despite pleas from Jamie Phillips) which resulted in a nearby tree catching on fire.  The reason that the fire was so dangerous was, in my opinion, less because of the couch burning but mostly because of the location.  In recent years the Point has been eroding and the water levels in the Chesapeake were very high in May and June, which forced the bonfire to be held on a small patch of sand very close to the trees.  Obviously this could have been avoided if the couch hadn't been burned, but if there had been more sand it probably would have been okay.

Anyway, this was obviously a horrible situation and pissed everyone off.

I attended Alumni Weekend a month or so ago and had a great time, but I talked to some people who said that they were trying to hang out at the Point on Friday and Saturday night but were forced away by Public Safety.  A week later I heard similar things from others so I decided to ask the new Director of Public Safety Dave Zylak about it.

According to an email from Zylak Church Point is not closed after dark, and the Public Safety officers reported that they had not been asking anyone to leave.

CONFLICTING REPORTS!

So, either people were lying about being told to leave the Point (unlikely), Public Safety officers were lying about what they were doing (possible but unlikely), or real police were telling people to leave (unlikely).

So, we may never have a full understanding of what happened, but we do have confirmation from the Director of Public Safety that the Point is not closed after hours (unless if you are tryna camp there or damage the property or litter).  This may clear things up.