I was browsing the twitterverse the other day (@SMCMLOL) and noticed some rumblings about a 'gum tree' I wasn't really sure what a gum tree was so I did some INVESTIGATIVE JOURNALISM on the subject and some GONZO JOURNALISM via taking photos of this elusive tree.
I
scoured my sources as to where I could find this tree. After tweeting a
few of my followers they left me with one clue: the path to the Campus
Center. I slowly made my way towards the pond, it was a cold day.
Suddenly I looked to my left, and there it was.
A
colorful tree, with fucking gum on it. Why the hell is there a tree
with gum on it? This is the weirdest thing I have ever heard of. But
apparently it's thing in Philadelphia, and now it's a thing here via
cultural appropriation. The Philly Gum Tree was a tree on South Street
in Philly that had gum on it. Then in 2008 it got cut down for some
reason. I think that pretty much sums it up.
Oh
man look at all that gum! So, I am judging this attempt at a
tradition, but I bet that when people started throwing shoes up in the
Shoe Tree in the year (whenever that happened) people probably thought
it was dumb. And to be honest I still think this is dumb because it is
littering and I don't like littering, but whatever. But it's kinda cool
and different, and I guess I can't fault someone for trying something
new.
Also I don't like gum and literally don't understand the appeal of gum. Why not just eat food.

