Great Room Hell

August 23rd is the start of orientation for the class of 2016 which means 500 freshies and their various parental units are currently on campus moving in etc. What this roughly translates to is great room hell via you guys have NO idea what you're doing. As much as we will grow to love you, we maybe hate you the first few times we encounter you in the great room because we are hungry college students and you, yes you, are standing in the way of food. Below please find a list of great room etiquette aka how to not be hated

• Yes, you do use your student ID to swipe in. Just hand it to them. Say thank you. It's that easy.
• Yes, you can use it to swipe in parents/sibs/friends/so's or slutever.
• Don't make the aforementioned people pay for their own food via money. It is so much easier to just swipe them in and you are a freshman with a freshman meal plan. You will never use all of your blocks anyway.
• Please don't stand at the front of the line and have a big conversation with the whole family. Do that before. Oh my god.
• Have your ID out and know how many swipes you need
• If you are waiting for someone either wait outside of the great room area entirely or by the cubbies because if you stand in the middle of the food area I hate you.
• Boxes exist. You can take food out of the great room with them. They are nice. Ask for one when you swipe in.
• You can go back as many times as you want. 
• Big T makes the best crepes 
• Yeah that means you can get more than one huge chocolately crepe
• You're welcome
• Spiced chai is the bomb
• Just be a big kid and put your dirty dishes where they're supposed to go. If you leave them at the table i hate you AND you're an asshole.
• ALWAYS go to midnight breakfast
• At the end of the semester upperclassmen WILL try to mug you for blocks. If you are smart you can receive payment in form of beer which is super nice.

I think that is all you need to know for now. Feel free to add things I forgot in the comments for the education of first years.

-Natty Ho (da intern~)

Class of 2016 Facebook Group

Some of yall may remember my 2014 and 2015 attempts at cyberbullying the incoming classes of freshmen First Years.  These posts were 'enjoyed' by many, and caused others to disparage the good name of Tom Seahawk, via it was kinda cyberbullying.

Times have changed.  Now to 'join' the class facebook groups you gotta be 'approved' by people like Tricia Realbuto and Sola,  I ~guess~ they are just tryna do their jobs...but it makes it hard for me to mine, via blogging.  It also kinda sounds like they are restricting freedom of speech...kinda sounds likes TERRORISM to me...

But worry not, dear readers.  Both administrative emails AND facebook postings can be leaked to the outside world for our ~amusement~.  Take a seat, and take a gander at the newest members of our "Honors" college~

Monica I'm pretty sure you are going to need to pick up Shakespeare's original manuscripts for your intro to English Lit class.  This seems like a silly question, is it ultimately just a stealth brag, a way to show off her 'fancy' Kindle?  Wonder if it's a plebian Kindle or a master-race Kindle Fire? [EDITOR'S NOTE:  This was a paid advertisement]

Micaela you certainly don't have to wear shoes, if you enjoy having massive gashes on your feet.  IDK maybe she is a masochist?  Maybe she read 50 Shades of Grey and realized she is into pain?

I like her analysis that swimming with shoes would be "sorta weird in the deeper parts".  Cause, I guess swimming with shoes is pretty natural in the shallow areas.

Well.  I honestly refuse to believe that Isabel here is not trying to troll us.  There is no way this is real.  I really have nothing else to say.  It speaks for itself.  ~so beautiful~ ~so brave~

Danny you are only allowed to bring 40oz containers of malt liquor, not fish tanks [EDITOR'S NOTE:  My favorite 'joke' in this post].  But she is pretty smart and shows her "Honors" college credentials by attempting to bring two separate 20 gallon tanks.  Also I like how there are specific regulations as to the size of the tanks in To the Point.  And that they had an extended discussion about fish tanks.

This one was interesting.  Rather than anyone attempt to answer her question everyone jumped on the "look at me, I'm an ally, I don't hate gay people" bandwagon and bogged down her discussion.  Which I guess is preferable to anti-gay responses.  Can't really articulate my thoughts on this one exactly but it struck me as an annoying/stereotypical response.

That's all for now.  If my analysis of that last one is incorrect/dumb feel free to call me out on it.  luv yall~ <3 br="br">