Great Room Hell

August 23rd is the start of orientation for the class of 2016 which means 500 freshies and their various parental units are currently on campus moving in etc. What this roughly translates to is great room hell via you guys have NO idea what you're doing. As much as we will grow to love you, we maybe hate you the first few times we encounter you in the great room because we are hungry college students and you, yes you, are standing in the way of food. Below please find a list of great room etiquette aka how to not be hated

• Yes, you do use your student ID to swipe in. Just hand it to them. Say thank you. It's that easy.
• Yes, you can use it to swipe in parents/sibs/friends/so's or slutever.
• Don't make the aforementioned people pay for their own food via money. It is so much easier to just swipe them in and you are a freshman with a freshman meal plan. You will never use all of your blocks anyway.
• Please don't stand at the front of the line and have a big conversation with the whole family. Do that before. Oh my god.
• Have your ID out and know how many swipes you need
• If you are waiting for someone either wait outside of the great room area entirely or by the cubbies because if you stand in the middle of the food area I hate you.
• Boxes exist. You can take food out of the great room with them. They are nice. Ask for one when you swipe in.
• You can go back as many times as you want. 
• Big T makes the best crepes 
• Yeah that means you can get more than one huge chocolately crepe
• You're welcome
• Spiced chai is the bomb
• Just be a big kid and put your dirty dishes where they're supposed to go. If you leave them at the table i hate you AND you're an asshole.
• ALWAYS go to midnight breakfast
• At the end of the semester upperclassmen WILL try to mug you for blocks. If you are smart you can receive payment in form of beer which is super nice.

I think that is all you need to know for now. Feel free to add things I forgot in the comments for the education of first years.

-Natty Ho (da intern~)

ATTN: Blocks Running Low!

It's the end of the semester, so y'all know what that means: balances on your ~*OneCards*~ are running low. You may be saluting/harassing/begging your resident first year or large meal planned friend to swipe you in. You may even be hitting on bros or biddies in exchange for a swipe (via it's nothing personal bb, it's just business). Hopefully y'all will figure out a way to get your nom on without reverting to ramen for the next 2-3 weeks. 

I feel like the best way to run out of your OneCard balance is to have nothin' but 69. It shows that you're wild and fun and experimental and probably go crazy in the great room (via 69) but also that you probably had a good amount of blocks to begin with. Or you just gave up on great room food early in and just lived off of cheese and crackers (meal of choice). Also that you are a ~reflective student~ as, look! No pay for print left! You probably used all of that on research papers and the HOMEWORK you do! How very honors college of you, 69er!

If you find yourself with an empty OneCard then that probably really sucks. The best way to combat this is to trade beer, cigarettes, friendship, small animals, children, or even your grandparents for a swipe or two. It usually works. You will be fed, and isn't that the only thing that counts?