Changes over at Admissions

Some big changes going on at Admissions!  Here is an email that was sent out recently (actually IDK if it got sent out yet, found it on LinkedIn):

Dear Campus Community: 

Admissions at St. Mary’s College is in the process of launching an ambitious, national recruitment campaign designed to improve the quantity, quality, and diversity of our applicant pool, which has been shrinking in recent years. 

A bold campaign requires positions that are both thoroughly grounded in traditional best practices in admissions and financial aid and that are creative, innovative, and forward-looking. We’ve combined two traditional assistant director positions to create an Associate Director of Admissions and Financial Aid position. We anticipate the creation of one or two additional new positions that will create vital linkages among admissions, financial aid, and other key constituents. 

In the reorganization, two positions - the Director of Admissions and the office administrator - have been eliminated. Rich Edgar served St. Mary’s College of Maryland for 25 years, and Lisa Crowe gave St. Mary’s an astonishing 37 years. We thank them for their many contributions, and wish them well in future endeavors. 

Sincerely, 

Pat Goldsmith 
Dean of Admissions and Financial Aid

Didn't really know who Rich Edgar was so I used some Investigative Journalism™ to find out some stuff about him.  His name is 'Rich', which I imagine means that he is an affluent dude.  And his last name is Edgar...is he related to the Baltimore poet?  Maybe he was let go because of this morbid connection?  I found this small photo of the dude:

He is pretty attractive, so I don't think he was let go due to being ugly or anything.  I think I met him once, maybe.  Also he is an ass. coach for soccer.  Other bro that got 'let go' (read: fired?) was Lisa Crowe.  IDK who she is, but she worked here awhile.

So what caused this?  According to the email Admissions is tryna go in a 'new direction'.  Personally I think they should go in One Direction:

Unfunny jokes aside, it seems like they are tryna have a position that combines multiple roles and creates greater 'synergy' between offices.  Which makes sense I guess.

But also this could be another example of 'letting people go due to clashing personalities/visions' via the sacking of Bayless, repositioning of Officer Mary,  and others, which has been going on since Urgo took over.  My guess is a greater emphasis on positioning the school as a 'nice school' and moving away from the image of SMCM being a 'chill hippie school'.  As the institution becomes more expensive it will be vital to make it seem to be 'worth the money', and the easiest way to do that is to make St. Mary's seem like a serious institution.

It's the same thing that has been going on since the 90s.  President Lewis (or at least he was around when it happened) got the school to be an Honor's College, in part to help move away from the notion that St. Mary's was a hippie liberal arts school.  And Maggie did the same thing when she took over, working to rebrand St. Mary's as a fine institution of learning.  And it just continues to the most recent graduation, which banned the distribution of beer to graduates.

So, my guess is that St. Mary's will continue to brand itself more and more as a 'good school'.  And this is just another part of it.

It's no secret that the number of applicants to SMCM has steadily been on the decline.  It's almost as if raising tuition consistently for several years in a row has had a negative effect on how many students apply to and can afford SMCM.

Strong Arm Robbery: A Play in Three Acts

SMCMLOL Presents:  A Strong Arm Robbery.  A play in Three Acts.

Act I:  The Report
Student, Public Safety Director Dave Zylak, and Officer Mary are in the Public Safety Trailer.  The day is March 24th, 2012.  It is a warm, the sun is shining and it is one in the afternoon.
Student:  Um excuse me, I'd like to report a robbery.  A strong arm robbery.
Officer Mary:  Oh my goodness!  I'm so sorry to hear that, via I am concerned with the well-being of the students.  What happened?
Student:  Well you see, I was in the Calvert bathroom, definitely not smoking weed
Officer Mary:  Of course not
Student:  and then I got strong arm robbed [Editor's Note:  A strong arm robbery is when force is used to rob someone]!  They took an undisclosed amount of money from me, and I was not injured via their strong arm robbery was more like a weak arm robbery.
Public Safety Director Dave Zylak:  Groans loudly
Officer Mary:  Could you describe the strong arm robbers?
Student:  One was a white dude, six foot, kinda fat, with a lime green cast and flip-flops.  The other was a Hispanic male with a t shirt that said 'one'.  They ran away in a blue sedan!
Public Safety Director Dave Zylak:  Wait, how did you see them escape?  And if you saw the getaway vehicle why didn't you write down the plate numbers?
Student:  I don't have any answers to those questions!  But the last time someone accused others of a robbery on campus everything turned out fine!  And the accuser was definitely not lying! [Editor's note:  See: http://thepointnews.com/2011/12/race-forum]
Public Safety Director Dave Zylak:  (In a soliloquy [via use of words that an English major would use]) Hmm this all sounds very suspicious.  Is this soliloquy possibly a form of foreshadowing???  But nevermind that, I will contact the real police about this matter!

Act II:  The followup
Public Safety Director Dave Zylak is sitting in his E-Z-Boy lounge chair.  Accompanying him is his daughter and a bottle of Whiskey.  It is March 25th, 2012.  It is a cool, thunderous evening.  Foreboding.  Imagine that scene from the film Matilda when Matilda steals the chocolate from the mean lady.  That sort of thunderstorm is going on.  I am not good at writing plays.
Public Safety Director Dave Zylak:  What do you think about all this, daughter?
Daughter:  As a MAT graduate I am super smart, and I believe that something fishy may be going on!  But you should probably contact the police about this matter.
Public Safety Director Dave Zylak:  You are so smart, since you graduated from the MAT program.  I will take you advice!  Pours whiskey and water into a mason jar.  He slowly sips from it throughout Act 2.  He then calls the county sheriff.  Hello, county sheriff?  It's me!  Former county sheriff!  Somebody got robbed in the Calvert bathroom at the college yesterday when they were definitely not smoking weed.  I'll fax you the details, using the fax machine!  Zylak faxes the details, passing the time by playing Angry Birds.  I'm glad you got my fax, county sheriff!  What's that?  You say you have a lead on the crime?!  Excellent, I hope you find the criminals!  Now, if you excuse me I must get back to my whiskey and Angry Birds Space.  Yes, there is a new one out!  It's pretty good, a lot better than Angry Birds Rio.  Hopefully this will result in future trips to the moon, sponsored by Rovio Mobile.  Goodbye!
Zylak resumes playing Angry Birds for the next hour.

Act III:  Goddamit
Everyone on April 5th, 2012.
Everyone:  Are you kidding me?  ANOTHER false reporting?  WHY!  Why do people do this?  Why would you make a False Report?  What kind of stupid shitheads are doing this.  It's not fucking funny, it's the dumbest and worst thing you can do.  See the email below.