Parking on Grass

This past February Urgo sent out an email urging us to no longer park on the grass on campus.  I never really noticed anyone parking on grass on campus, so I had not realized it was an issue.  Here is the email in question:

Dear Campus Community,

We all recognize and celebrate the beauty of our campus; it’s among the hallmarks of St. Mary’s College. The establishment of a certified Arboretum is perhaps the most tangible, recent expression of that recognition. And we’ve all worked hard to keep the campus – our academic home – free of trash and marked by points of natural and cultivated beauty. I am especially grateful to the students who participate in the Sunday “Keep St. Mary’s Beautiful” clean-up tours on campus, to the physical plant and groundskeepers who tidy up, remove full trash containers, and maintain the campus, and to each and every one of us who picks up, rather than passes by, a stray piece of litter.

A beautiful campus is conducive to academic contemplation as well as to spiritual renewal. It’s been our goal at St. Mary’s College to move parking off campus and on to perimeter areas. We’ll soon be starting a project to make our one thoroughfare – State Route 5 that bifurcates our campus – a safer area through traffic safety and calming. On campus, I have asked Public Safety to be diligent in enforcing traffic and parking prohibitions. We should not be parking our cars on grassy areas, in front of academic buildings or residence halls where parking is not allowed, and we should not be driving cars on walkways. We don’t like to do so, but violators will be ticketed. When going across campus for meetings or events, let’s take advice from the wellness committee and make it a walking, not a driving (and parking) opportunity.

Please continue to help to maintain the integrity of our grounds. Our campus landscape is a fundamental aspect of our identity; a sense of place is inherent in the way we think of the College.

I appreciate your help in preserving the beauty of our campus.

Joseph R. Urgo

President

A pretty reasonable request.  Even though parking on campus is not always easy, there is generally enough room for everyone.  The only major downside to this is that (apparently) Admissions was no longer allowed to let perspective students park on the Admissions field/SMUT field (via people play ultimate there).  This is a huge issue because tons of cars come on those Saturdays for open houses and they need somewhere to ~park~.  So that obviously upset Admissions people (notice a ~trend~?).

But then during a recent River Concert Series performance people were allowed to park on that field, on the grass.

So what is the deal~.  Are people allowed to park on the grass or not ???

File this under: incredibly minor things that normally wouldn't bother anyone, but will probably piss people off via general mood of anger towards SMCM.

Strong Arm Robbery: A Play in Three Acts

SMCMLOL Presents:  A Strong Arm Robbery.  A play in Three Acts.

Act I:  The Report
Student, Public Safety Director Dave Zylak, and Officer Mary are in the Public Safety Trailer.  The day is March 24th, 2012.  It is a warm, the sun is shining and it is one in the afternoon.
Student:  Um excuse me, I'd like to report a robbery.  A strong arm robbery.
Officer Mary:  Oh my goodness!  I'm so sorry to hear that, via I am concerned with the well-being of the students.  What happened?
Student:  Well you see, I was in the Calvert bathroom, definitely not smoking weed
Officer Mary:  Of course not
Student:  and then I got strong arm robbed [Editor's Note:  A strong arm robbery is when force is used to rob someone]!  They took an undisclosed amount of money from me, and I was not injured via their strong arm robbery was more like a weak arm robbery.
Public Safety Director Dave Zylak:  Groans loudly
Officer Mary:  Could you describe the strong arm robbers?
Student:  One was a white dude, six foot, kinda fat, with a lime green cast and flip-flops.  The other was a Hispanic male with a t shirt that said 'one'.  They ran away in a blue sedan!
Public Safety Director Dave Zylak:  Wait, how did you see them escape?  And if you saw the getaway vehicle why didn't you write down the plate numbers?
Student:  I don't have any answers to those questions!  But the last time someone accused others of a robbery on campus everything turned out fine!  And the accuser was definitely not lying! [Editor's note:  See: http://thepointnews.com/2011/12/race-forum]
Public Safety Director Dave Zylak:  (In a soliloquy [via use of words that an English major would use]) Hmm this all sounds very suspicious.  Is this soliloquy possibly a form of foreshadowing???  But nevermind that, I will contact the real police about this matter!

Act II:  The followup
Public Safety Director Dave Zylak is sitting in his E-Z-Boy lounge chair.  Accompanying him is his daughter and a bottle of Whiskey.  It is March 25th, 2012.  It is a cool, thunderous evening.  Foreboding.  Imagine that scene from the film Matilda when Matilda steals the chocolate from the mean lady.  That sort of thunderstorm is going on.  I am not good at writing plays.
Public Safety Director Dave Zylak:  What do you think about all this, daughter?
Daughter:  As a MAT graduate I am super smart, and I believe that something fishy may be going on!  But you should probably contact the police about this matter.
Public Safety Director Dave Zylak:  You are so smart, since you graduated from the MAT program.  I will take you advice!  Pours whiskey and water into a mason jar.  He slowly sips from it throughout Act 2.  He then calls the county sheriff.  Hello, county sheriff?  It's me!  Former county sheriff!  Somebody got robbed in the Calvert bathroom at the college yesterday when they were definitely not smoking weed.  I'll fax you the details, using the fax machine!  Zylak faxes the details, passing the time by playing Angry Birds.  I'm glad you got my fax, county sheriff!  What's that?  You say you have a lead on the crime?!  Excellent, I hope you find the criminals!  Now, if you excuse me I must get back to my whiskey and Angry Birds Space.  Yes, there is a new one out!  It's pretty good, a lot better than Angry Birds Rio.  Hopefully this will result in future trips to the moon, sponsored by Rovio Mobile.  Goodbye!
Zylak resumes playing Angry Birds for the next hour.

Act III:  Goddamit
Everyone on April 5th, 2012.
Everyone:  Are you kidding me?  ANOTHER false reporting?  WHY!  Why do people do this?  Why would you make a False Report?  What kind of stupid shitheads are doing this.  It's not fucking funny, it's the dumbest and worst thing you can do.  See the email below.

PANIC: David Groupe is Missing a "Ladder"

According to a recent All Student Email, David Groupe (pronounced, Groupie, I imagine) is missing a ladder.  Read the whole email below (click it to see it bigger):

David begins the message simply stating "Has someone borrowed my ladder."  It's not a question, but a simple statement.  I am not entirely sure if he meant to place a question mark at the end of this sentence, or if he is making some sort of a political statement.  What does the ladder represent?  Are we all just ladders, living on this Earth to support others???

According to the email, the ladder is approximately ten feet tall.  It is unfortunate that David Groupe was not able to provide the exact height of this ladder, because many ladders are 'approximately ten feet tall' so I think it will be difficult to distinguish which ladder is his.  However, he does tell us that the ladder is 'aluminum' and has wheels on the bottom (as opposed to ladders with wheels on the top).

Please, won't someone think of the scene shop?!?!  David needs this ladder back urgently (almost as urgently as Nate's all student email [more on that in a future bloggin post] about hamburger buns) so if you drunkenly stole a ladder of all things, please return it.

PANIC: SGA CRISIS???

Been hearing rumblings of people 'debating' at SGA meetings lately.  Not really sure what it is about via never going to them (anymore...sigh) so I talked to some informants to garner some information.

It seems there are two issues that 'people' are having with the SGA.

• President Mark Snyder over break wrote up a new constitution over Winter Break (with limited input from the SGA?) which

1. removes the MHEC (Maryland Higher Education Council) Representative position.  Without discussing it with the current MHEC Rep...
2. changes the requirements for running for President/Vice President of the SGA that they must be on campus in the Spring Semester if they want to run.

Both of the proposed changes must be voted on of course before the changes go into effect.

RE:  Issue 1:  Apparently (via unsubstantiated rumors [via I didn't go]) the current MHEC-bro Mike Hullett did not know that there was this proposed change until the meeting and got upset and had the SGA table (AKA make everyone wait ANOTHER week to vote on it) the measure. Not really sure why he wants to get rid of the position, or discussed it with the current dude regarding whether or not we should have it. 

RE:  Issue 2:  Some speculation that this is via he does not support the White/Reighart ticket, and did this out of spite (via they are currently abroad, but this would not affect them).  Not all that likely via I don't think he is that silly/childish.  Other more reasonable reason behind it is probably that he feels that the new Prez should be trained.  Regarding Mark Snyder and training, from an anonymous SGA member:  "also, if mark is so concerned about training maybe he should have trained his senate" via the lack of legislation (srsly they need more legislation like this wonderful piece of legislation regarding All Capital Letter Emails).

One anonymous bro said on this issue "I think many talented student leaders who have put in their time at SMCM and took advantage of its great study abroad offerings should not be penalized for going abroad the semester before their term would start. The student body should not have to be managed in this way, we should be trusted enough to give power to any student leader, even those who have decided to study abroad for a semester. We know who can represent us well and those who run for this office take it seriously. Extra regulation like this is completely unnecessary and rather offensive when it seeks to possibly limit the chance of a qualified, well-intentioned student leader to lead the school if the student body so wishes it."

IDK Blog-readers.  What do yall think?  Are people taking SGA too srlsy???

William Williams

This dude's name is seriously William Williams. 

NOTE:  Click the image to see it larger.

Wonder why is parents named him William Williams.  Are they professional trolls? 

PAYCHECK PANIC

Recently [well, really a discussion that has been going on for awhile, and will continue to] a lot of discussion over the paychecks to staff [primarily grounds, maintenance, housekeeping, etc.] faculty and administrators.  Just gonna post some of the information/emails and not actually comment on it via it is a difficult situation.

Here is a Point News Article Terrorist newspaper article about the increase to administrative salaries of 15 administrators which Dr. Urgo later pointed out was semi inaccurate via there were increases to staff and faculty salaries as well (see email below).

It is particularly distressing to me to face external limitations on employee eligibility for salary increases. We will continue to work with legislators in Annapolis to broaden eligibility, and ultimately, to see an end to the state wage freeze.

This year, despite the state wage freeze, we have been able to work within state guidelines to make a number of salary increases effective in January 2012.  

Scheduled January 2012 Increases:

Faculty – 58

23 Assistant Professors

22 Associate Professors

13 Professors

Also, in January 2011, 40 tenure-track, assistant professors received increases.

Faculty adjustments listed here do not include salary increases that come as a result of promotions, tenure, and periodic reviews. Over 50 faculty members received this category of salary increase in 2011. Others are eligible for these increases in 2012.

Faculty Librarians – 2

Staff – 18

4 Athletics

4 President’s Cabinet

2 Business Office

2 Campus Technology Support Services

1 Academic Services

1 Advancement

1 Facilities

1 Financial Aid

1 Registrar’s Office

1 Waterfront

The student newspaper has a story this week with partial information about salaries on campus that I and others have found to be misleading, and unfortunate. I intend this email to help us all understand the issues we face regarding salary increases, and the progress we’ve made within state limitations. I am happy to meet with anyone, singly or in groups, to discuss the situation and the decisions we’ve implemented.

Joseph Urgo

President

St. Mary's College of Maryland

Only comment here that I want to make is that while positions such as athletics, president's cabinet, CTSS, and the various offices, none of these (other than the one facilities pay increase, which I could guess may have gone to Kevin Mercer [bless his soul, beautiful man]) are going towards the staff that the students are concerned about, those working for low(ish) hourly wages. 

So, there are some facts about this, primarily for the alumni readers.  Check out the article's comments, especially the 4chan troll, along with some insightful commentary. 

Oh and there was a reply to the Urgo all student email from above:

I agree with President Urgo’s statement that The Point News article is not totally accurate, but I disagree that it is “misleading” and “unfortunate.”  The salient message of the article is that the most poorly paid employees at SMCM are not getting raises.   In this message, the article is accurate, and tells a story that needs to be told. 

Matthew (25:29) said it millennia ago:

For to everyone who has, more shall be given, and he will have an abundance; but from the one who does not have, even what he does have shall be taken away.

So, how do we solve this problem within the constraints of the State’s mandate?  We have efforts under way to establish a Joe Carroll Staff Award, with a 1 of 1 match for an unnamed donor.  If you haven’t already contributed to that fund and can afford it, do so.  Your $1 is worth $2. 

But a once-a-year fund will not solve an endemic problem.

The Point News article mentioned support for establishing “a fund to reserve money until it would be legal to disperse among the staff.”  I, and I am sure many others, call on the President and other “operationally critical staff” to explore this and other creative solutions.  Let’s all be part of the solution, not the problem.

Not sure that we needed the religious quote, but it does bring up the issue of 'rich get richer, poor get poorer' along with other good points.  Hope this educated yall to some degree, please leave comments if I missed anything or am wrong about anything or if I am still unfunny etc. thank you

SEACREST OUT

Mold Students to be placed on a Cruise Ship EXCLUSIVE PHOTOS

I wish this were a joke that I had made up but it is not.  The school is renting (or maybe buying via the photo to the right) this ship to house students who have been displaced by the mold in PG and Caroline.

These photos were leaked to me by a disgruntled student (she wasn't actually disgruntled) and should be the legit thing.

According to this second photo, it would appear that the boat will house at least 218 students.  Not sure how many are currently in the hotels, but there are many more than 200 students currently displaced (many were put into triples, quads, etc.).  I wonder how effective this method of housing will be?

Here is what the cabins look like.  As you can see they have a nice framed painting and even a telephone.  Not sure how the telephone works since they are in the water.

 Wow boat, u fancy huh?

Nice deck!  For yalls who aren't getting all student emails, Urgo sent one out a few hours ago telling everyone about this.  Currently a lot of students are in hotels in the area (some even in Solomons) which kinda sucks via having to drive so much, so this is a new solution! 

I feel like this is the sort of solution that could not have been imagined by sober people.

Click on any of the photos to see them bigger!

I have been here for several years now, nearly half a decade, and this is THE most absurd thing I have experienced.  <3 u st. marys.

PANIC! Severe Thunder Storm WARNING

This is the sort of all student email that should be in all capital letters, not those ones about the pub and such.  Anyway, THUNDER STORMS!  Your lives may be in imminent danger.  I like 'thunder roars...stay indoors!'

Anyways storms are pretty fun but hopefully no one dies or gets electrocuted, cause that would be sucks-ville.

A Cappella Emails

I have to make a confession.  I hate A Cappella.  I don't hate people that sing it, but I kinda hate A Cappella unless they are singing the pokemon themesong or something.  I don't even know why, I think I just don't like singing.  When I listen to music I can't really understand the words, so I kinda just listen to the general sounds.  Anyway,

you may have to click the image to really see it, but someone made the decision that two emails regarding this must be sent out at the same time.

Actually this didn't really annoy me, I thought it was really funny tbh.  <3 u student clubs.  yall are very talented and I wish you all the best of luck in Monty 25 this weekend!

Who is Amy Henderson?

Via 'Who is John Galt' (via Atlas Shrugged [via ugh]).

But who is this mystery woman?  She is not in the directory.  What is the package?  Possibly a bomb via terrorism (PAINC!).

Or maybe it's like the package at the end of Se7en.  But I hope not because that would be real creepy.

Really though it's kinda funny that an email was sent out about this, but I guess it's probably the only way they'll figure out who she is.

I am hungry.

Webmail was down

So email wasn't working earlier today for a bit. This is the email they sent out:

Good afternoon

We are currently having issues with accessing webmail from mobilenet, the residence halls and from off campus. We are working to correct the problem and will notify you of any updates.

We apologize for the inconvenience. 

CTSS

Pretty standard, but I have a few issues with it
1)  How were we supposed to see an email about our email not working if our email wasn't working?
2)  If email was not accessible from mobilenet, residence halls, or from off campus, where was it available from?  I'm assuming nowhere, so why not just say that it wasn't available at all...
3)  Everyone should use Gmail

That is all.

Midnight Soccer

Dunno if yall can see this, but it's an email conversation with the dude that sends out midnight soccer emails.  He said he was sorry for sending out so many, and apparently he is!  Just wanted to double check.

All Student Email

Let's talk about All Student Emails!

I think we can all agree that there are just not enough of these. I am constantly hitting refresh on gmail, waiting for more emails to consume, and just not being satiated by the dozens of all student emails I get daily. We should try to up it to around 100 a day. New all student email ideas:

• Has anyone seen my car keys/one card?
• hey does anyone know the name of that guy I was making out with last night?
• yo check out this youtube video
• crazy pianos club emails
• yo what is the great room like tonight, worth going or should I just eat cheese-itz
  

Okay but seriously, let us discuss serious aspects to this.

On Friday Sush sent out an email about a picnic thing at the PaxRiver museum of army airplane things. I don't really know why because it cost like 15$, and that is nearly 1.5 handles of Rikaloff; my point being that it doesn't seem like a great value compared to the amount of Rikaloff you could buy for that amount.

So then Rogachevsky dude (what a cool name) responded to the all student email (which according to faculty, this happens a lot with all faculty emails, and it's really obnoxious) expressed his opinion that it's dumb to have a picnic at a place that glorifies/commemorates weapons of mass destruction. I think it's kinda dumb to send out an email like that, but it's cool that he is that committed to his values I guess?

So then Aaron Guffey (student, in charge of college repubs or somesuch) responds and is just a huge ass to this dude. I think that Rogachevsky (I wish this was my name) had a fair point calling the planes WMDs because ultimately even a drone can/will lead to the deaths of people usually.

I mean, I guess he didn't have to be mean and say that he was being 'asinine', just making your point would have been sufficient.

Okay this is a really long post but I have other things to discuss maybe. Like this email today from Binta D about volunteering for 'Spring Festival' for the Holy Faith Church (cool name bro) up at the fairgrounds. I don't think this is something that should be advertised in all student emails, because it has nothing to do with the school or students, it's just looking for volunteers for an outside event. But what do you guys think?

Also I really dislike All Student Email THAT ARE IN ALL CAPITAL LETTERS but that is just a pet peeve really.

Also I heard once that a decade ago, when all student email was introduced, everyone had it and it caused massive PANIC and absurdity. I think we should go back to that/stop giving club leaders all student email access. Maybe criteria should be more like if your club has a reason to send out a lot of emails (like Habitat) or if you have a job/student position that requires you to send out a fair amount of emails (some SGA positions, and like IE or Admissions jobs). I dunno though.

Leave thoughts in the comments.

Email Check

This email was annoying and stupid. I don't think allstudentemail access is something that you need to check, like I just assume that if at some point I need to use my allstudentemail access it then it'll work. She should have attached a photo of a kitten or something so that this would not have been a waste.

Swine Flu

It's in Souther New Jersey.  The only thing between Maryland and Swine Flu is Deleware.  We are all going to die.

An all student email was sent out about it, with some basic info and what to do etc.  I think it was a pretty solid email about the Swine Flu