Harold

I didn't have a car when I showed up to St. Mary's, actually I didn't even have a license at that point. Eventually I got my license, but still being carless my junior year I found myself of legal age with a newly expired license. I didn't feel comfortable asking someone to drive me to the MVA, which was pretty far away, but moreso because of the fear of how long it could take. We had grown up seeing the horrors Patty and Selma could wreak on people... Eventually Ben took me there, but before then Harold yelled at me a lot for my expired ID (Editors note: Harold was right to yell at me). I mean it was obviously me on the ID, and I have seen plenty of people pass an ID behind themselves to the next person. So, my first impression of Harold was mixed.

But everyone liked him, and I learned to as well. Funny, kind, cheap bar tabs, everything you're looking for in a bartender. My wife and I were lucky enough to take a trip down to St. Mary's for a weekend in February of 2020. I messaged Harold and told him we'd be down, and he was kind enough to let us know he'd be working Saturday happy hour. He looked rough, really rough. I was happy to see him, but I know that for me at least it's hard to accept what your eyes are showing you. I hate knowing that everything changes and goes away eventually, whether it's the field at the Crescents or a good friend.

I'm going to miss sitting at the Door with Ben and catching Harold up on all the dumb things we had been doing. He always seemed so interested in our shenanigans, I think Harold really loved humans and our stories a lot more than most people.

I know that facebook is awful and everything but for better or worse that's the primary way I communicated with Harold, and I am going to miss all of his posts, especially the ones about bed linens and his dad.

Here are three random memories of Harold:

-harold playing clash of clans at a competitive level while bartending, and knowing that my tips would go towards that

-seeing harold in Baltimore at the alumni o's game/Pickles

-like, a lot of times when you would order your drink, I feel like he gave you a smile or a look or an eye raise that kinda said "look, everyone else in here is a drunk asshole, but right now, as you take your drink, please don't do anything to annoy me further" in the most empathetic, human way.

Raise a glass that you took home after pint night and leave some memories in the comments.

Advertising Awards

IT used to be that choosing a college was an easy process. In my experience, all it takes is an old sailor telling you "you should go to St. Mary's, they like to sail and there are lots of women there" when you're 12 yrs old. That's all it took! The advice of one old dude, early in the morning, shortly after explaining "you know, if you sniff that airplane glue, you'll get high." Old sailors and dentists LOVE telling kids how to get high, or at least they do if you have long hair.

My point is that times change, and advertising is more important than ever. Prestige TV used to be stuff like M.A.S.H., and now Prestige TV is like...whatever is coming out each week on Disney+ I guess???

But for awhile it was Mad Men, the show about advertising in the 1960s. Prestige TV at one point reflected the greatest interests of Americans: Italian-American crime, Baltimore Crime, White Baltimore Crime in Season 2, Meth, and Advertising! 

Season 4, Episode 6 premiered with the prestigious CLIO Awards, an award show for advertising. Funnily enough, the same night Mad Men would win an Emmy! On the TV show Donny Draper gets super drunk (ofc that's every episode), and then after he gets the award he gets even more drunk, this time with power! Also Pete Campbell has to grovel to get the Ken to return to the ad agency, and any scene with Pete Campbell groveling is peak Prestige TV.

SMCM recently got a taste of that sweet, sweet CLIO action, at the 36th Annual Educational Advertising Awards. It makes sense that higher ed advertising really got into the swing of things in the 1980s as the cost of a college education began to swell.

SMCM brought home the gold for their Giving Tuesday 2020 campaign (which a lot of people sat out on, myself included, via current students asking us not to donate over issues related to racism at the college) and for the dedication ceremony of the new Commemorative to Enslaved Peoples of Southern Maryland. You can watch the virtual dedication below:

I haven't watched it yet via it's an hour long, but it DOES seem pretty well done. 

The Board of Trustees seems pretty pleased with the results too!

"In acknowledging the recent awards at the May Board of Trustees meeting, Institutional Advancement Committee Chair Gail Harmon said, “This type of third-party validation says that our College’s marketing and branding are on the right track.”

Aren't we all just seeking out a lil prestigious third-party validation in this crazy, mixed up world? I love that they do awards for giveaway shirts as well

"The team also earned a Gold award in the 2020 Collegiate Advertising Awards for the design of a giveaway apparel item for newly admitted students designed by alumna Keely Houk ’17."

They buried the goddam lede!!! Am I wrong in thinking that "giveaway apparel" is like primo marketing, or is that a Web 2.0 mindset? I was always jealous of the amazing designs UMD had for their promo gear. But what do I know!

You can learn more about this Awards program with the contact info below. It looks like they are based in Georgia, which recently made it a lot harder to people to vote!

It's also not too expensive to enter it seems, I might submit the blog for judging next year.

 

Life

October of Freshman year of high school my typing (sorry, keyboarding) teacher, Ms. McGuire, morbidly informed us, as if it were the most natural thing in the world, that someone from our class would die soon after graduation (sometimes I like to think I've gotten better at writing and then I go and use five commas in a single sentence.)

We were, you know, a little taken aback. Hurt. Confused. We reacted the way people react when they're forced to confront an uncomfortable truth. And to let my own classist views out, at the time I felt there was no way that could happen at a top school like ours.



07' ETHS grad Megan died one year and several weeks after graduation.

S. died while I was still at St. Mary's. We met at a party once; it was a bit surreal.

I met B. several times probably but never really knew him.

I wish I had known Jamie. She clearly had a positive impact on everyone she met, and I look forward to celebrating her life this Fall. I try not to lash out when people in Baltimore question the utility of bike lanes.

And then Sami passed. We played ultimate together. And then randomly years later there he was at my neighborhood bar, smiling, drunk as shit, talking about TFA and the women he managed to pick up at the Life of Reilly. It too, closed recently.

That was a tough one, because he had also written for SMCM LOL BLOG a few times at my request. I'd like to share them.

A Good (president) is Hard to Find 
He managed to really capture Urgo's presidency, flaws and accomplishments. He's right: you're not likely to find another college president who was that approachable and visible on campus. Check the comments for a heartfelt Rich Edgar response.

"That time I threw a party with bouncers"
Totally forgot about this. There's a lot of really well developed arguments, and a little insight into some 2014 "drama".

His family has requested donations be made to Baltimore Harm Reduction Coalition in his memory.

I meant to write this back in May, but never did. It's easy to put things off.






I have a Byzantine Top 40 flyer in my St. Mary's file of various artifacts, from freshman year. I think I finally heard them play after finishing Gov Cup 2012 on the ole 77' Bristol.

Summer of 2018 I ran into Eli three times: at an O's game, Artscape's bougie-ass party with the mayor where I ate a half dozen crab cakes (this is not a lie), and on a random street South of Pratt. I was actually "annoyed" I kept running into him, like damn how is this dude everywhere suddenly.

I mean, I barely knew him. I barely knew any of these people below the surface. But he had a life, career, family, partner, talent. And really all of these people did. But you know we in our general age cohort all have made those "adulting" jokes, we see people who have their shit together, or at least are able to tuck in their shirts and fake it. Eli could definitely tuck in his shirt, along with a lot of other things.

I spent fifteen hours today in a car. Driving is weird and alienating in that you are surrounded and affected by other humans, but rarely see them, let alone interact in a meaningful way. I waved goodbye at the blue hatchback I traveled all of Ohio with, smiling at the absurdity of it. It of course led me back to John Donne:

'No Man is an Island' 

No man is an island entire of itself; every man

is a piece of the continent, a part of the main;

if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe

is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as

well as any manner of thy friends or of thine

own were; any man's death diminishes me,

because I am involved in mankind.

And therefore never send to know for whom

the bell tolls; it tolls for thee. 

In high school, it was the first half that resonated with me. My years now doubled, it is undoubtedly the latter half which compels me.

St. Mary's is a large family. We are all connected. I do ask that you reach out to those you love, and support Emma and her SMCM class of 2031 little one.



 8-14-2019 - kb

Three SMCM Students Arrested for Armed Robbery

lmao just like

just what

Last Friday 3 First Year members of the Basketball Team (check the archives for previous coverage) robbed, with guns, their weed dealer in WC. 

This is the MOST CLICHED COLLEGE ROBBERY

0 POINTS FOR ORIGINALITY

I think it's also worth noting that, chances are, these dudes are pretty tall, I mean one of them is 6'9" (nice). That's gonna stand out on a college campus right? IDK. 

Questions to consider:

• They stole 8 oz. of weed, valued at $1,200. Is that a legit figure??? That seems a lil' low for SMCM, but idk maybe the floor bottomed out???
• How will Harney react???
• What do you do now? Like what does the college do? I hope they don't take a reactionary approach to this, in any form. This is a one-off, not indicative of larger issues, right? idk

Here's the article from where I stole all this info 

https://smnewsnet.com/archives/430229/update-three-students-from-st-marys-college-of-maryland-seahawk-mens-basketball-team-arrested-for-armed-robbery-at-college-dorm-room/

R.I.P. Trees

When I was eight years old my parents had a story teller come to my birthday party and regale us with the story of The Lorax, via environmentalism. A good time was had by all, and the cake was an ice cream cake, which is perfect for December.

Flash forward twenty years, and much to my dismay trees at SMCM are being TORN DOWN.

Look at this gorgeous beauty. The Tree of Life, so majestic and powerful via age, destroyed with the BLADE OF MAN.

Yes that wonderful tree at the entrance to the Garden of remembrance is no more.

And look, another tree near the White House/Lucille Clifton House.

But why are these trees gettin' chopped up, like so many carrots in the Great Room?

Possible Theories...

• Captain Planet style anti-environment villain
• Pruning
• Disease
• Gentrification
• The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers and Sauron/Dr. Jordan needs trees for their respective war machines

Who knows!@1@11!!!!

Would be cool 2 buy some of the tree. Maybe a slice of tree, via slices of pizza???

Big ups 2 @Viet for taking these photos!!!

Swimming Coach Arressted on Child Pornography Charges

Our Swim Coach has been arrested on Child Pornography Charges.

Andre Barbins, 45, is currently in jail. He went quietly as police entered his Calvert County compound. Police found digital storage devices with the illicit material on it.

The college has stated

"The college is taking all steps necessary to protect the safety of its campus and community, and is cooperating fully with law enforcement. Assistant Coach Hattie Schiavone has assumed coaching duties. As with all personnel matters, the college is unable to provide further comment."

Hattie was a member of the Class of 2013, and suddenly has an awesome job, so props to her.

This was his mug shot. Portrait of a defeated man. You can see the despair, regret, and pedophilic sickness in his eyes. He worked here since the 98-99 season, overseeing countless swimmers, including the local underage swim teams.

How does this compare to the Professor who paid for sex with Oxy? Are these two incidents indicative of a larger problem down by the River?

SMCM in Minecraft

Someone made the Campus Center in the 'popular' 'videogame' Minecraft

I tried doing something like this a few years ago and quickly gave up and went to the Door.

credit 2 : http://wildguess.tumblr.com/post/54302644776

"ST~ M" is a Real Thing

I definitely thought it was just some weird goof, the whole "ST~ M" which the college's facebook page has been using for the past months, and that literally has "1" like.

But NAW, apparently it's real. They even sell mugs with it.

This is a real product the Campus Store sells.

I can totally get the rationale behind this change. There are a ton of "St. Mary's" around the world, so it's important to rebrand as something different. But you cannot just create "ST~M" and not explain it. Where is the press release, or rationale behind the new branding? I'm just lost.

s/o 2 the thotties

Congrats to the two SMCM alums who appeared on The Hill (blog???)'s 50 most beautiful Congressional people. Let's turn interns into eye candy!!!

At #5 was Carmen Fuentes

Not really sure what is hanging down from her glasses on the left, also I can't think of a joke to make about this really :/ :/ :/

Congrats tho bb!!!

FUN FACT: Said my townhouse smelled like pee once. Then she moved in and someone literally pissed in their house~

and at #25 is Mariel Saez

Congrats bb!!!

FUN FACT: Mariel assigned me my only article I ever wrote for The Point News

~~~congrats 2 both of yall beautiful ladies~~~

Stained Glass Pub

Is this your car, smcm student circa last year, at the Stained Glass Pub? Did u finally graduate???

How's ur life now? R u "fulfilled"? Have u lived up to ur potential?

Made Mom/Dad/Obama proud???

Hope u enjoyed the half priced pizza!